Sunday Funnies 10-1-06

Sunday Funnies 10-01-06
The POP King Returns?

Have you heard? Okay, rather than keep you in suspense, I’ll just tell you.

THE POP KING’S PLANNING HIS RETURN!

OMG, say it isn’t so. I’m sorry, but according to L.A.Times Staff Writer, Chris Lee, Michael Jackson has begun to work on his comeback.

“Michael Jackson has kept a low profile of late: He lived in self-impose exile in Bahrain after his June 2005 acquittal on child molestation charges, then moved to Ireland in May.” I suppose you could think of it as self-imposed, but really, did he think he’d be able to go on here as though nothing happened? “But now, according to several people who have recently met with him, The again self-imposed King of Pop, 48 gawd, hasn’t that misnomer sort of run its course by virtue of him doing nothing in the way of meaningful work? has started work on his comeback.” Oh, I can barely contain my giddiness at the thought. “The early word is that he is shifting away from the R & B lite that characterized his last few albums toward a more urban sound.” Oh whew! I was sooo tired of listening to “Thriller”.

“Talent manager, Charles “Big Chuck” Stanton travel to Ireland earlier this month with his nephew, hip-hop producer Ron “Neff-U” Feemster, who has worked with Eminem and 50 Cent, and is one of the track masters behind R & B phenom Ne-Yo’s hot album, “In My Own Words”. Jackson sought out Neff-U’s services. Am I the only one here who is thinking that someone who cannot even spell “nephew” is seriously in trouble?

Though they were unsure what to expect, they say they encountered a musically focused and creatively fired-up Jackson. Stanton says, “He is ready to take over the world, he’s got some hot records.” isn’t that illegal? “Teddy Reilly, and Will.i.am, Oh pu-lease. “We are giving Michael a lot of edgy street records. He’s putting melodies to some pretty hard party records.” Huh? So he is putting some melodies to records already out there? No wonder I didn’t remember many that I have heard…okay, not many…the few. So Jackson is being creative now, hmmmm.

“Raymone Bain, Jackson’s spokeswoman, oh, a woman speaking for him now, that should go a long way in restoring his credibility said that Will.i.am (LOL) and Reilly had not joined Jackson in the studio…although she said it was possible since they had submitted musical MP3 files for his approval.” Easier than flying to Ireland again I suppose.

She also said, “Michael is moving very much forward with his new music. He is readying to release an album.” Hey spokeswoman, how do you “move very much forward”? Is that more than a little forward, as in, imminent release?

“In April, Jackson signed an exclusive recording deal with Bahrain-based Two Seas Records with an eye toward releasing an album in late 2007. Last week, however, he dissolved his partnership with Two Seas, putting the fate of his long-gestating Katrina Relief single, From the Bottom of My Heart, further in limbo” Well, see there, the government isn’t the only one taking forever with helping the victims move forward. So much for him trying to do something to help out.

“Since March, Jackson has been meeting with a who’s who of hip-hop big shots—50 Cent’s main turntablist, DJ Whoo Kid among them. Gawd, just when I thought it was 50 Cent who was the genius…back to Hip-Hop School for Nada. Whoo Kid??? Sigh.

Whoo Kid recalled eating dinner with Jackson in Bahrain for MTV News, “Mike was like, ‘Whoo Kid, come over here,’ what a convenient name it turns out the DJ says in a high-pitched voice, mimicking Jackson, You are kidding, he imitated Jackson’s voice…what talent! Then he adds, “I was like poing!" POING?? "He was supposed to be there for like 45 minutes; he stayed for five hours! We was talking about Eminem. He was like, ‘Is Eminem really retired?’ I forgot that Eminem totally cremated him in one video, 'Lose It'. Then he strted talking about 50.”

Was he talking about 50 as in he would soon BE 50 years old…or is that how you speak of 50 Cent, on a first name basis? Okay, I’m totally like, confused….is there some special Hip-Hop Lingo I don’t know about? I may be still thinking things are “cool”, heck, even “Rad”…but am I so out of the loop now that I am…like speaking too proper of English (at least American Style) to be relevant to today’s youth culture? Say it ain’t so…and with that word, “ain’t”, I hear my English teacher saying, “Ain’t is not a word.” Oh yeah, it is in the dictionary now. Sigh.