A Small Window

Below the gray, lowering sky I walked slowly upon the untraveled ground. Thinking I was alone, I spoke aloud, "It"s a choice afterall." Pondering upon the choices of my life, I felt trapped in them. A prisoner of my own doing, that is the result of choices.
The sky was in cahoots with my mood just then---dark, menacing, frightful. Hope seemed fleeting, help was not on the way. Even a small window of blue in the clouds could have given me also a small window of hope of better times.

"A penny for your thoughts" said a voice from behind the nearest tree. Jerked out of my own storm, I looked to see a man walking among the trees almost in line with my path. We had been walking in the same direction, but upon different paths.
"Oh!" I almost yelled, "You startled me!"

"I am truely sorry" he remarked. "I meant not to. I knew you would see me eventually and didn't want you to think I was following you. Forgive me."
His eyes had the look of concern in them.

"Well, I forgive you, but I did think I was alone," I answered "just walking and thinking aloud."

We began walking on the same path now as he inquired,"You mind if I join you?"

"Well, okay" I said softly, "My name is Ann."

Shaking hands he said, "Hi, I'm Cory."

"Glad to meet you, Cory"

"Likewise. I often walk in these woods, but I've never seen you here before. Do you come from around here?"

"No" I replied flatly. He sensed my clipped ending of this talk and began elsewhere.

"It sure looks like rain any minute, but I like the rain and the wind."

"I prefer the sunshsine, myself" I couldn't help saying, for that is now what I longed for.

"No matter the weather," he continued "the heart and mind can enjoy a continual feast." He was smiling at me. My own heart and mind was not there, though longing for it. The clouds only reminded me of my inner storm. Of this he must have sensed. He seemed to know what I was feeling.

"It's a choice, I suppose" I said, bitterly.

"Of that you can be sure" he said, "and must be practiced to come easier." He continued, "It's a high road we must walk upon. Only the low roads get us down to where we lose our vision." Looking straight into my eyes he said, "May I ask, have you lost your vision, Ann?"

Was this guy sent to me from God? I thought. Am I that blind that He must send someone?, I asked myself, but dared not voice.

"Well," I said "I guess I have--it must be pretty obvious."

Cory replied,"It's only clouded a bit perhaps. Blow away the clouds and darkness and what's left?"

"Choices" I said, thinking I was back to square one again.

"But choices aren't the end of things," Cory kept on "they are the tools to teach us and hopefully point us to that high road."

"Yes, that could be a way of looking at them. But there are some consequences that follow bad choices" I couldn't help but say "and those consequences cloud the way." I wanted to cry.

Stopping me with a touch on the shoulder, Cory looked at me with sadness and replied,"There is always grace and forgiveness. These take the place of the bad choices and bring us to a place higher than before. It's not the end, it's really the beginning. You must choose what to do with grace and forgiveness, Ann." Smiling, he said, "This changes everything!"

As I looked away and up into the dark sky, wind howling in the trees, I spied a small patch of blue. I repeated, "Grace and forgiveness" as I stared at it and saw that it got bigger. The thought of pouring grace and forgiveness on my choices opened up the sky for me! The patch of blue just grew and grew! In amazement I looked over at Cory to find him gone! Where was he?

"Cory" I said, turning all around, "Cory!" But he was nowhere in sight. When did he leave me? I thought I must have imagined him, but, no! He was real, he touched me!

The sky was now clear, the last of the clouds rolled away to the north. I stood basking in bright sunlight and felt the hope of the day upon me. It was Cory, I thought.

"No," a still, small voice said "it is grace and forgiveness."