This is a Tribute... 4th in order

This is a Tribute…
By: The Dark One (M.C.H.)    August 14, 2007 *approximate*


It’s a front, a lie, a mask,
Nothing you know about me is true.
But you stay by my side without knowing my face,
There’s no way for me to repay you.
Nothing here is worth my time,
While I sit here typing rhymes
The scheme changes the world hinges
On every word on this piece of paper,
It’s saving my sanity,
These words just spill out of me,
And give me some gravity.
The world around me is grounded,
My mind drifts in a sea of words unexpected, unwanted, unheeded,
The voice says I’m unneeded.
I look around to find
The voice was mine,
And it’s true to my life,
The world doesn’t need strife
Enough is enough and this world has enough
And I just bring more.
I’m tipping the scales, I’m breaking the rules,
The reason we’re here has to be something to do
With something I’m not involved in,
Something that hides from me,
lingering constantly,
In the back of my mind.
The world won’t let it die, every day I see,
Someone with a drive, a reason to push on and never turn back
This world doesn’t need me I’m fighting the rhyme scheme,
You can see there’s some rhyme in me, but the way I show
Comes down to what I know, and I don’t know how to hold
On to anything that I’ve got
A new sensation is all that awakens me,
once I’ve done it it’s gone
There’s no magic left
I’m bereft of anything,
clinging to one thing that goes away
and I just stay and sit and wait for the next new thing.
Please catch my eye, I’m only half alive,
The world closes in but I don’t want to die,
So I find something new,
something for me to do
A reason to stay alive just one more time,
praying that it will last.
Another blow from my world, I’m thrown
from love unfurled and my heart dies again,
The next time I see that which entertained me
I’ll be dead to it and it won’t be able to help me.
She’ll see a change in me sometime soon,
I won’t be able to look her in the eye,
To show her what’s inside my mind.
I’ll lose her too just like I lost everything in my life
I’ve got nothing but suffering behind a mask
That despite my past, is able to last until I put it on again
after my fall again, my mind is wearing thin
But you can’t see the world inside of me
You’re friends to a mask that’s all you’ll ever be
Cause I can’t see a way to let you in
I’m trapped inside I’m just throwing you lies,
Letting you believe I’m okay when my lie is torn away
And tears fall this is my poem and this is how I write,
There’s no mask here I just let the words flow for once in my life.
You’ll never see a cold equation that lies behind the eyes,
Of one as stripped as me from all that can provide for me some sort of feeling.
This may be a poem but all my life I’ve been hiding and trying never to show
The way I choke, when I’m faced with something I don’t know,
Because I hide behind a cold logical world, that separates me
From the feeling I need so much more than anything,
My world is bending and shifting, trying to fit me, and all my life
Inside a box that’s too small to hold anything I never want to let go,
So I pick and choose and what I don’t I lose my memory can’t fail me!
If I don’t have my past then I cannot last through the future to come
Without a constant sensation, I’m struck numb and cold as ice.
But don’t worry this is just my life.
It’s been so long I can’t break down these walls
When I try I fall and I can’t take the emptiness I feel
When nothing around me is real when I feel sealed inside my head.
I’m suffering I can’t remember my last new sensation anymore.
I’ve lost my memory that meant so much to me
I guess that this will have to be the rest of eternity
Until I find another that stimulates my mind
This cloud will blind all my senses
Leaving me defenseless, this is the chorus of my life.
I guess I wrote this to finally show the world that you didn’t know
You part of, when you stopped giving me a new experience.
My mind just shut my memories of you out in my delirium
Clearing them and how I felt bearing them and sharing them
Scaring them out of my head.
After this metamorphosis you might as well be dead
from my life until you find another new way to bring me
Something I’ve never seen and make it significant
In this world of impotence, I need a potency that will extend to me
A new way of life or a time without my strife.
My final note of all that I’ve wrote,
Is a thank you, just for being there when I needed fresh air
A change of pace from my ice cold space
You woke me up and I let you down and I’m sorry you had be
With me when I couldn’t really be the way you wanted me to be
And I’m sorry , that I couldn’t love you like you needed me
So I made myself a person who was fitting in
And now you believe that this really is me
But I’m still hiding behind lies and schemes
I’m the beginning of a new disease
And this is not how I want it to be!
I’m lost now, there’s no hope, it’s no joke,
This rhyme is the first and last time that you’ll see the real me.
Because you’ll never see what’s inside me
You’d rather I be the one that you believe is the real me.
This is the end of my Tribute to you
And all that you do, even though I view,
the world through a wall of ice.
This is my one shot I realize
my lies are stealing my life and
I just can’t hold on…