LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL

Honorable Mention in Comedy All Sorts Contest 5/08


LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL

I started drinking when I was young.
I drank Budweiser beer 'cause it was number one.
Over the years my taste did change,
And I drank light beer by a lot of different names.

Yeah, I was a case a day,
Bottles or cans it was just my way.
Finally, I couldn't eat a meal without a cold beer,
And my buzz started getting a little unclear.

Well, I dated other spirits--vodka, schnapps, gin and rum,
But for me, bourbon was the one.
Ya see gin will make your boat float, schnapps is fun,
Rum's okay, and vodka is just for some.

But if you're gonna drink days on end,
I'll tell ya right now, ya gonna need a good friend.
Mr. Jim Beam or Old Granddad, if it says Kentucky it'll make you glad.
Wild Turkey, Makers Mark, now that's top shelf,
And I've drank Crown Royal blended whiskey and everything else.

But after awhile, my body would only take so much,
So I started having a little wine with my lunch.
Now wine's OK, but too much is too sweet,
And it took old cognac to knock me off my feet.

Warm and kind the next day, sure enough that beverage is here to stay.
But some bars don't carry it, and there I'll be,
But a shot of Jose Quervo soon takes care of me.
Ya see, what I need now is the smallest dose with the biggest buzz,
That's why moonshine is my favorite cuzz.

You may be asking yourself, after all of this, what is the key?
I don't know, but if you keep drinking . . .
You could end up like ol' Coolhand, that's me.



Something I learned along the way:

ID: 1414982   (Rated: E) "G" Guitar Strings  A musical look at life by Coolhand