What Should Have Killed, Made me Strong

I grew up in the blackmarket era when families that had too many children sold them for cash. This was done so that other family members could eat and have things a little easier for awhile. It never lasted long enough but the pain of being sold would linger deep in my soul and spirit for years to come.

At four years of age, my identical twin and I were prime candidates on the market, for commanding the highest price. A couple in Montana, who were childless, gave my mom 10.000 dollars in cash with instructions on our depature. We knew nothing of this until the night before we were to leave.

Upstairs as we both lay snuggled in the warm blankets on our bed,we heard our mom downstairs, right below our bedroom, discussing our morning leave-taking by train. Out throats closed up hardly daring to believe what we were hearing. We did not want a new mom!  Our brothers and sisters were here, we were scared, this couldn't be happening to us. But it was! In the morning we would be taken by train to our new parents who would give us everything we would ever need! Our little hearts beat with fear and silent sobs!

The next morning, crying and sobbing, while our belongings were being packed, grabbing hold of our mom with trembling hands, we were put in the car and taken to the train station. Our mother yanked our hands off of her body, backed away and said, "I never did want you, either one of you, but since I'm a Catholic I had no choice, but I do now"!  "At least I'm getting something out of it." Don't ever come back"!

I can say neither one of us, my twin or myself, had ever had any physical hugs, kisses, or anything from my mom as long as I knew her. We had 14 brothers and sisters and she abandoned us as if we were a litter of kittens going on her own way. She never ever showed any remorse for her actions.

We knew someone who was close to our mom, and they said her mother had abandoned her in order to keep her pet dog. Our mom was given up for adoption at 1 month old so maybe that's where she got so cold hearted. One can only wonder......