White Elephant

Oh, my.

This would not be an easy situation to get out of.

Jepson Marley studied the dazed expression of the alligator from a distance and tried to remember why his endeavor to own it made so much sense at the time. A honeyed breeze picked up and bent the swamp grass between them: one old leather-skinned adversary against another.

The 'gator cocked its head in a toothy grin and started deliberately toward Jepson. Jepson countered by stepping sideways and circling. Hold the tail, he thought. Although another part of him screamed for him to run, but he silenced it with a dollar sign in mental genuflection.

Seven weeks of legal to-ing and fro-ing lay within reach. "The Great White 'Gator", the local press had named this particular white elephant. The Key to Uncle Ezra's fortune hung, literally, round "Snappy's" neck on the collar especially made for the pet of the relative.

The Last Will and Testament of Ezra Marley was as sound as the mind which had signed it. Bad news for Jepson, who found the clause about not killing Snappy a little hard to swallow.

"I've heard tell of some livin' in their hundreds!" The Judge enthused in Private Chambers. "Ezra kept him pretty mean - it'll be hard to get that key without him taking a piece of you in return."

Jepson was startled from his reverie by the approaching figure of Mary-Lou, his wife of fourteen long years.

"Get back, girl, or he'll take a bite out of you!" He warned, not once breaking eye contact with the beast.

"I want my money." She dead-panned.

"Shit, you want your money! What the hell do you think I'm doin' here?"

"Playin'."

Jepson heard the bang and felt the whistle of a projectile whoosh past his hair line. Snappy grunted, lunged, and then stalled; lying prone less than a foot away from him.

"Mary-Lou, you can't kill him! We won't get a bean," Jepson whimpered.

"I didn't kill him - I tranqued him. See?" She waved the tranquilizer gun in front of his nose, before walking straight up to Snappy and removing the over-sized collar and key. "Now let's go shopping - there's an alligator purse and shoes in town with my name on 'em!"

(379 words)