The New Law

Cecil W Dobson MP concentrated fully on the task in front of him. His pen scratched deliberately over the paper, leaving behind a beautiful example of a calligraphy signature. He carefully blotted the ink and delicately folded the crisp white missive into the Parliamentary envelope and popped it in the pigeon hole on his way home.

Everyone knew it was silly to bring any new White Paper up before the House in the run up to summer. All thoughts were on holidays and well earned rests; not new laws and ordinances. Still, Cecil owed it to the people of his constituency to do the job for which he was appointed, and so it was with some surprise he saw the motion carried the next day to the Lords and from there on to approval from "The Big Signature" of HRH.

What surprised him was how slow the Press were on the uptake, but when they did catch on they had a field day - albeit a rather polite and well considered one.

Cecil's Law.

(i) It shall be deemed an offence to be rude and ill mannered in public. This includes all uses of sarcasm, swearing, sneering, and derision - with the exception of organised sporting events (such as Association Football).

(ii) Chewing with your mouth open will be punishable with an on-the-spot fine. As will the consumption of any food or beverage on the street (it's common).

(iii) Bodily functions related to digestion not passed in the sanctity of a bathroom/washroom/designated facility will also be punishable with an on the spot fine.

(iii) Failure to respond with an appropriately well mannered response to requests will be punishable with a 'clip round the ear-hole'. These include:

Please
Thank you
You're welcome
No, really: after you
Oh, but I insist

Cecil enjoyed his summer break from Parliament immensely. Democracy truly was a wonderful thing.

(317 Words)