A Lot of Help YOU Are!

A Lot of Help YOU Are!
A true-life embarrassing moment

         I had thought nothing of it when I slipped into a black top and a full skirt that morning.  I was going to work, stopping to see a friend at the hospital, and then coming home for my teenaged daughter before heading to the store.  What could go wrong on this beautiful late autumn day?

         My day at work went as planned; I even got paperwork done and the schedule made up for the next month.  As I left, I noticed it was getting warmer.  I might trade my long dress coat for something a bit lighter when I get home, I thought.

         I visited at the hospital for a few moments before Maryanne was taken for additional tests.  "It's really warming up outside," I told her as I removed my coat and hung it on the vacant hook.  "We might be getting an Indian Summer after all."

         I stopped at home for my daughter. "Let's go, Mom," Fallon pressed anxiously when I suggested changing my clothes. 

         I hung my long coat in the closet and grabbed my sweater from the back of the chair.  "I'm ready," I said, following her out to the garage.

         Fallon chattered all the way to the store.  "Remind me to get nail polish remover," she said scraping at the flaking bits of color that remained.  "And I need conditioner for these split ends."

         I nodded and added the items to my mental list.  The sky had begun to darken by the time we pulled into the parking lot.  "I hope it doesn't rain before we come out," I commented, looking back at how far away we'd had to park.  "It's really crowded today."

         As we neared the building, the wind began to increase.  Discarded receipts blew into a corner and swirled around, joined in their dance by a few dry leaves and an empty candy wrapper.  I was about to point out the little whirlwind to my daughter when cruel wind whipped up beneath my full skirt, lifting it over my head, exposing me in front of a crowded parking lot of onlookers.

         Car horns blared and shouts and whistles came from the direction of the parking lot as I fought with the yards of billowing fabric that made up my floating cotton skirt.  The only sound from behind me was muffled laughter.  As the wind died down and I regained control of my uncooperative clothing, I was horrified to realize that my own daughter hadn't even attempted to come to my rescue.  Instead, she had used one free hand to cover her mouth and the other to point at me as she doubled over in fits of laughter.

         Cheers, hoots, and laughter followed me as I held tight to my skirt and ran into the store.  Avoiding the eyes of knowing onlookers, I quickly purchased a pair of jeans and changed in the restroom before doing my shopping.  I glared at the offending garment before unceremoniously cramming it into the shopping bag and joining my daughter.

         "A lot of help you are!" I cried, catching up to her in the cosmetics department.  She took one look at my bright red face and burst into peals of laughter once more.

         "Oh, Mommy," she snickered, "if you could have seen, you would've laughed, too."  She hid her face, but laughter shook her slender body whenever she looked at me. 

         "I wish I'd had a camera," she said at the dinner table as the laughter died down.  I would've made a scrapbook page called, ‘My Mother Marilyn'!"

         "I'll remember that when you start dating.  I do have blackmail pictures of you."  I grinned and pushed back my chair. 

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ID: 284049   (Rated: ASR) Boy, Was My Face Red  True-life embarrassing moments, large and small...most of them my own by justme