Part 3 Of Forgiving

My hand continued to shake with tremors as I stood next to one cart. As I slowly went to lift the blanket that was soft to my touch, I could hear voices fadingin and out. My mind was focused on what I was doing but a part of it waslaso shying away from what it would find.

I heard the screen door slam, my husbands voice loud and clear as he yelled, "No"!
Jerking with the suddeness of his harsh command, I dropped the sheet at the same time feeling his strong arms encircle me holding me in his protective embrace.
I turned within that embrace to see a tall stocky man in a suit approach us in haste. Snapping a notebook closed with a quick jerk he said," Why are you back"?

Another man came in from outside letting the door slam all the while signalling the stocky man that they needed to talk by pointing his finger over to the corner of the room. Both walked over and started whispering frantically to each other every now and then looking at me and shaking their heads.

After about 15 minutes both came over and the stocky man started apologizing to me. I was totally confused until he said, " We didn't realize you were a twin until your husband was detained outside and he mentioned it". " Otherwise we would never had allowed you to walk right into the house without a warning". " Your twin had been here earlier and identified the bodies so we naturally assumed you were her coming back for something so we didn't stop you from entering". When we saw this guy ( my husband) we thought the guy who did this might have been him and he was using you as a hostage since we still can't find him." " Were so sorry".

I just looked at him the whole time he was speaking with no emotion, frozen inside. I felt as if my mind had ceased to function and quit taking anything in. I could hear the voices and see their mouths moving but nothing was penetrating my mind. My eyes were taking in everything in the room trying not to settle on the two blanket draped carts. I did not want to feel anything because I felt it was to terrifying for me to accept. I felt my mind shutting down.

Standing there with my husband"s arms enclosed around me, I felt him turn me toward the door we had came in earlier. I stumbled and he pulled me closer whispering in my ear softly. " I'm here, just don't think about it yet, I'm here for you".
Guiding me slowly back outside I glanced at the overturned Christmas tree, gifts lying scattered around, I could feel my thoughts skittering away from the reason for the disarray.

Walking through the yard. hearing the broken fragments of glass crunching beneath the soles of our shoes, we steadily made our slow trek to the car. Glancing inside I saw my young son fast asleep in the backseat unaware of the turmoil swirling around him.

My husband opened the car door, holding me close for a minute, he then helped me sit down before closing the passenger door. Going around to his side of our car he opened the door and sat down with his arm across the seat. Gently touching my cheek, he turned my face to him so our eyes would meet. Then he very delicately began to tell me what he had been able to find out, which broke his heart because he knew mine would be shattered upon his words.