The men in your family

The men in your family 

What did you think of men
when your father left this world
for fear of shame and failure
and you, your sisters, in bows and dresses
your mother could no longer provide.

What did you think of men
when your sister, the most loved one,
with long red hair and a love for art
lay bleeding after her last child, both of them
soon to leave this world, the doctor to blame.

What did you think of men
when your husband came home late,
well after the hour the shop closed,
excuses and perfume still lingering
on the laundry you had to wash.

What did you think of men
when your daughter’s husband
took her across the country to escape you
only to have her run home years later
with a dog and a suitcase, escaping him.

What did you think of men,
when your daughter’s new husband
didn’t see the signs, didn’t listen to warnings
his own son was seeking solace in an end
all too permanent and severe, and succeeded.
         
What did you think of men,
when my mother said she was leaving,
my father was never home, in mind if not in body,
and you wondered who was the other woman.
There was no other woman, only passive neglect.

When I told you we were having a son,
I remember your first words to me,
for they ring in my husbands ears when he hears your name
You said, “I just don’t know if I could love a boy”          
At least you were being honest.