Golf jokes

GOLF JOKES

"...and then she says, 'You lying bastard! You've been out playing golf again!'"

John laughed with the other golfers in the bar. It was an old joke about a golfer who hid his adulterous affair by leaving tell-tale clues on his shoes that indicated he had been playing golf. John's laugh was somewhat forced, however. He had been having an affair for months, and only half of his golf outings had made it to the fairway.

John finished his drink, made his goodbyes, and headed to the parking lot. For the last five months, he'd been seeing Pamela, a young paralegal in his office. She was resistant at first, but it wasn't hard to overcome that resistance. He was a partner in the firm, after all, and she was a twenty-year old blonde with a taste for the good life.

As John drove home, he tried to think how he had allowed himself to get into his relationship with Pamela. He had been married for ten years to Wendy, his college sweetheart. Things had been good between them, until John and Wendy tried to start a family four years ago. It was the second miscarriage and the doctor's pronouncement that Wendy would never be able to carry a fetus to term that sounded the death knoll for their marriage.

John had made an attempt to be understanding, but mostly he threw himself into his work. Feeling isolated, Wendy turned to drinking. The vicious cycle fed upon itself, until John and Wendy barely spoke anymore.

As John drove home, he came to a decision. He'd put Wendy in a rehab facility and, after an acceptable amount of time, divorce her. Pamela was a little flighty, but he was sure that with a little polishing, she could be transformed into the perfect little trophy wife.

John pulled into his driveway, not surprised that the house was dark. Wendy was probably passed out somewhere in the house. John rationalized that he was doing a favor for Wendy as well. They weren't good for each other anymore.

John walked into the house and flipped on the switch. It remained dark.

"Wendy, what the hell have you---" John's blood went cold. From the light through the window, he could see Wendy's shadowy figure. She was holding a shotgun.

"Wendy---"

"You lying bastard! You haven't been out playing golf!"