CATFISH

Mr. Gerald Pisces found himself in the unenviable position of being in the courtroom of Judge Arthur Fair this morning. He had been charged with piscatorial slaughter in a case apparently without precedent. One morning some weeks ago he had been driving at the speed limit along a rural road and had run over a walking catfish. These catfish had been in the news recently because it had been learned that they could survive for long periods with little or no water and had learned to use their fins to maneuver on land. When Mr. Pisces ran over one of these fish, the very strong fin punctured his tire and he had a flat. He became enraged and picked up a fallen tree limb and beat the fish to death. He had then repaired the flat, gotten into his car and driven away, thinking nothing more about the matter.

Unfortunately for him, a member of the group known as the Society for the Protection and Preservation of Ambulatory Catfish had witnessed the incident and recorded Mr. Pisces's license plate number and provided this information to the authorities. Mr. Pisces soon found himself under arrest and was just able to post bond so he could remain free while awaiting trial. Judge Fair was in no mood for leniency today. He advised Mr. Pisces that he had been traveling in a known catfish zone which was clearly marked with "Catfish Crossing" signs. While his personal preference would have been to incarcerate Mr. Pisces for a very extended period, he felt that he could do more to further the education of the community by requiring to complete 2000 hours of community service. With this in mind, Judge Fair placed Mr. Pisces on probation for ten years with the provision that he must spend weekends serving as an escort to make sure any walking catfish which wished to cross the road could do so without threat of being harmed by careless motorists. Judge Fair adjourned the case, and Mr. Pisces went fishing.