Our Last Goodbye

"Hey. How you doing today?"

"I'm still dying."

"Uhhh..."

"It's OK. You can laugh. I know my humor is a bit on the dark side lately."

"Well at least you still have your humor. You could sit there and cry all day. No one would blame you."

"I look at it this way. I can spend the next however many weeks crying and railing against the inevitable end or I can live what life I have left to the fullest."

"I'm not sure how you do it. Can I just say that this sucks?!?"

"Yeah you can say it and I'll agree with you."

"There are so many things I want to tell you, but I feel like I'm being selfish and I don't want to remind you about your situation or make you upset."

"You may as well say them now, cuz I don't know how much longer I'll be around and who knows if I'll hear them at my funeral."

"Oh  God Sherryllynne! I'm gonna miss you so much! I can't stand it! This is so fucking unfair! God I hate cancer! Why did you ever have to start smoking?"

"I ask myself that question."

"You're too damn young!"

  "I'm 44. Although these days I feel 144.  It's funny cuz I didn't feel middle aged at 22."

"I'm so scared for you. For me. For Mike. How is my brother gonna get along without you?"

"He'll survive. I want him to. He tries to be brave around me. Sandi, you have to promise me you'll make sure he's ok after I'm gone."

"But he's not going to be ok after you're gone. None of us will."

"Just promise you'll keep in touch with him and make sure he's getting on with his life. Make sure he doesn't hole himself up and shut out the world."

"I'll try. But I think it'll be a while until he is ‘OK'."

"Yeah. I know.  Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I'm scared too. I'm not ready to die yet."

"Oh God! Sherryllynne."

"See, I do cry too."

"Can I have another tissue please?"

"Here. I've gone thru a lot of Kleenex lately."

"So have I. I just hate crying in front of you. I don't want you to feel like you have to comfort me. I'm here to comfort you, but how can I do that when I'm a big, blubbering mess."

"You being here is comforting. Knowing that you'll be there for Mike after I'm gone is comforting. Knowing that you're gonna miss me and that you care about me is comforting."

"I am going to miss you and I love you more than you know. "

"I love you too, Sandi."

"You look tired."

"Yeah. I am."

"Then I'm gonna go. But I want you to know that if this is our last conversation, that you will be in my heart forever."

"Mine too."

"Bye Sherryllynne."

"Goodbye Sandi."



Word Count: 491