Beauty is Found in the Heart

Once upon a time, a car ran a light .
Afterwards my neck, once "normal",
began to shake, pull and fight.
It was determined to ruin my life.

Every woman longs to be a beauty,
to gaze in a mirror to admire a lovely face.
One she can smile at and recognize
as time changes it with grace.

I felt like an out of control puppet,
with an evil master at the strings.
Frustrated, ugly and undesirable;
like something from Halloween.

Forget contact lenses,
a battle, my eyes red and weary.
Eye liner, a mascara wand;
now painful weaponry.

My hair is wash and wear,
quite lopsided after a painful cut.
I felt I owed the stylist
double for her time and my trust.

Blouses were once worn to attract.
Earrings sparkled as they sway.
Turtlenecks now cover my neck.
Precious jewelry is put away.

Watching theater movies,
is quite the adventure land.
Right or left side for my neck?
Popcorn and I tumble to greet fans.

My neck ruled my life
morning, noon and night.
Propping my head to read,
laying on the couch for TV.

A rendezvous in a restaurant
meant a booth and food plan.
If you could cut your meat,
it nose dived into a seat.

You begin to watch people
from a recliner and window.
The old you is a memory.
Pain rules, your "act" becomes solo.

Everything seems a struggle
until you find you aren't alone.
The Internet or a pamphlet
finds your way to a phone.

When I found another person
whose body wasn't straight,
I rejoiced for finding a friend.
Then I cried for their painful state.

I have hope and help now,
a neurologist armed with Botox
and a name for a real disorder
not "stress, nerves, or we aren't sure".

Dystonia is not terminal cancer,
a child with no nose is tragedy.
Once you stop grieving,
you gain acceptance and rationality.


Remember that woman in the mirror?
Now she knows about real beauty.
Her eyes shine with compassion.
Her smile is given with love.

Outer beauty is superficial.
inner beauty dwells in your heart.
Love comes back to you
when you give it away.



By Kathie Stehr

Many children have a type of this and they are wheelchair bound with spastic muscles and constant pain. If they can handle this, surely I can.
I am sure that you thought Botox was only for wrinkles, try about twenty injections in your neck, eyelids, vocal cords, etc. Very painful but it helps for about three months.