|Dear Mr Meanor:
I want to write but I'm just not sure what to write about. What should I do?
New to writing
Dear You've come to the right place:
Writing is hard work and takes a lot of commitment. You have to write every day and write about what you know. (Editors note: If I may break in here, Mr Meanor does not know the meaning of hard work or commitment. Who do you think makes up all the questions for him to answer? That's right. All of the questions are fake. And he doesn't even bother to write his own stuff most of the time. We--there are several of us--have to do most of it. He just leaves a note like "Make this funnyer." He also cannot spell. He can not even rely on spell check because he doesn't know which word is correct. He can't even be relied on to come up with anything original half the time. He just takes an idea that someone else had and reworks it slightly to make it seem like his own. We should see what he's blathering on about now) ....and that is wy yuo should pay attintin only to Mr Meanor and what he is doing. Mr Meanor knows how to rite an engajing story and keep someone's attintin.
(Editors note: And that's another thing. If we didn't tone down the incredibly self-absorbed, nasty, high-handed attitude nobody would EVER read anything that he's ever written. He doesn't just think highly of himself, he thinks ONLY of himself. Everybody is fair game and no situation is too solemn to mercilessly poke fun at and drag through the mud until they sue. Of course, that assumes that anyone who has enough money to sue would know anyone who would read this dreck. Speaking of which, let's see where he is now.) .....wich is why you sould try to put yoursefl in situashuns that will give you ideas for your writing. Don't rite about celebritees. Nobody cares anymore. (Editors note: He even gets his ideas from old TV shows, so the only celebrities that he knows about are from the middle Eighties. And nobody even gets Tom Selleck jokes anymore, so we have to make it about somebody that's from the time after the Dumont network. The only reason that he doesn't like celebrities is that he doesn't know who the hell they are most of the time. And he's so annoying when he doesn't know something. He just keeps saying "What?" until you tell him what the frack he wants to know. But he won't tell you exactly what it is that he doesn't know so you have to explain the whole thing to him and by the end of it, his attention span has ended and you have to do it in 5 words--"I'll take care of it." After that he'll usually wander away and leave you alone. Speaking of which, he's still writing) Pay attintun to your frinds. They will give you lots of funny situatuns to write about. (Editors note: As if he had any real friends. The only people that he pays attention to are the ones who provide the three F's. For those who don't know that's someone who feeds him, funds him or fu---I mean fornicates with him. And he is so shallow. He only seems to be attracted to men that he thinks are as attractive as him. Finally, I found something nice I can say about him. He is an good looking man. But even that brings up another fault. He is so egotistical that he makes Stalin look like a low self-esteem convention. Everything is about him. Speaking of which, let's see what crap he's coming up with) Bars are anuther good place to go. Drunk peeple are very funny and provide lots of stories to wite about (Editors note: Bet you can guess where this one is going, right? Ding, ding, ding. Correct answer. He is a HUGE drunk. No chance is passed up to get closer to passing out. And he's not a fun drunk. The big problem is that he thinks that he's fun when he's drunk, but really he's a babbling idiot and I mean a bigger babbling idiot than usual. Even now, he's probably on his third vodka and tonic of the hour and thinking up more ways to torture us. He never even reads the stuff that we write. He has no idea that this is even----Wait, who's that? Why do you have that in your hand? Don't come any closer, I'm warning you. I'll call the police. Stay awayyyyyyyy!!!!)
(New editors note: The previous editor has been sent to a rendering plant---I mean sent on vacation to calm his nerves. I would like to state for the record that Mr Meanor is not--repeat not--holding our loved ones, beloved family pets, and bank accounts hostage. Now back to Mr Meanor.)
So there you have it, gentle reader. Just write about what you know and put lots of hard work into it. And if you want to help Mr Meanor, just drop me a line. Just make sure that you can feed me drinks and tell me I'm pretty. Your family, pets, and bank accounts will thank you.
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