Intro to Dialog - Assignment 4

Assignment


A. Please give me an example of each of the below. Make them up yourself.

1. Dialogue where the speech tag becomes before the inverted commas.

Billy said, "Put mayo on my hot dog."

2. Dialogue where the speech tag comes after the inverted commas.

"Put mayo on my hot dog," said Billy.

3. Dialogue that includes a beat (dialogue tag in-between.)

"Put mayo on the bun," said Billy, "and relish on the side."

4. Dialogue with a tag that includes a character's name.

"Billy, what do you want on your hot dog," asked Tara.

5. Dialogue with a post speech tag.

"I'll have mayonnaise," said Billy.

6. Dialogue with an action tag.

Billy stood back from the barbecue. He said, "they're hot."

7. Dialogue with a tag that includes a speech tag and an action tag.

"They're hot," said Billy, as he stood back from the barbecue.

8. Dialogue with a question mark.

"What do you want on your hot dog?" asked Tara.


9. Dialogue with an exclamation mark.

Billy raised his voice. "Mayonnaise and no relish!"

10. Dialogue with a quote.

"My favorite book is 'Lord of the Rings' but after seeing the movies there's no reason to read it anymore."

11. Dialogue that uses ellipses.

Billy said, "I can't describe this frankfurter. It is so..."

12. Dialogue that uses an em-dash.

Billy said, "I could eat ten of these-watch out for that bee-this is good!"

B. The following scene is an extract from Darkwaters, a work in progress by Lightning (26)
lightandshadow





Preferred Author

Offline or Private

Est. July 9, 2005

. It has 40 dialogue mistakes, your task is to find as many as possible. Don't worry if you can't find them all, just find as many as you can. Please copy out this scene in your answer with the mistakes corrected. Please highlight your corrections by making them another colour.

The oaken double doors swung open and Mark walked forward blinking as he stepped into the brightly lit room. There were tables and chests, littered with paper, everywhere. Despite all of the mess there wasn't a speck of dust to be seen and all of the furniture, though ages old, looked brand new. A crystalline globe hung overhead. It was only source of light in the room as the walls were lined from floor to ceiling with bookcases. It didn't cast any shadows and illuminated the room as if it was noontime on a bright summer's day.

He weaved his way through an obstacle course of furniture, toward the fireplace that dominated the far end of the room. Half way there he stumbled on a wrinkled up rug and bashed into a table that held an incense burned. He stopped to steady it and was hit in the face with a wave of pleasant smelling smoke. When he looked he could see his father propped up in his favourite high-backed comfy chair. His long loose shirt lay un-tucked over his baggy trousers and velveteen red slippers hung motionless several inches above the ground. His nose buried in, a no doubt, crumbling and musty old book.

As Mark approached he looked up and shook his head, then stopped to brush aside the greying brown hair that had fallen into his green eyes. He frowned at his son who was the exact image of himself at that age.

"I'm disappointed with you son."

"I'm disappointed with you, son."

"What have I done wrong now."

"What have I done wrong now?"

You didn't do your chores.

"You didn't do your chores."

"Is that all?" Asked Mark. "It's no problem. Just get a servant to do them".

"Is that all?" asked Mark. "It's no problem. Just get a servant to do them."

'Yes I could, but that's not the point."

"Yes I could, but that's not the point."

"Then what is it? Why waste my time?"

"I want you to do them", he said as he placed his book carefully on a small table beside him. "because I expect you to fulfil your responsibilities, Mark."

"I want you to do them," he said as he placed his book carefully on a small table beside him, "because I expect you to fulfill your responsibilities, Mark."

"I'm not your servant"

"I'm not your servant."


'No you're a lazy child who spends his days dreaming, instead of doing something useful.'

"No you're a lazy child who spends his days dreaming, instead of doing something useful."


"I do useful things."

"Name one."

Mark turned his back on him wanting to storm out of the room and slam the door behind him. He took a few paces and paused I can't let him win or I'll never hear the end of this. I do have a busy life, but I know that no matter what I say my answer won't be good enough for him. He sighed, letting his shoulders drop for a moment before turning back towards his father.

He took a few paces and paused. 'I can't let him win or I'll never hear the end of this. I do have a busy life, but I know that no matter what I say my answer won't be good enough for him'.


"I go hiking, I swim and fish. I hunt for rabbits and deer in the forest."

"I go hiking. I swim and fish. I hunt for rabbits and deer in the forest."

"That's not working that's enjoying yourself?"

"That's not working. That's enjoying yourself."


Mark glared at his father "It's part of my training."

Mark glared at his father. "It's part of my training."

"Don't bring up that navy nonsense again..."

"Don't bring up that navy nonsense again."

"It's not nonsense," He said as he clenched his fists. "It's what I want to do."

"It's not nonsense," he said as he clenched his fists. "It's what I want to do."

"I told you we're not going to discuss it," replied his father. "you still have given me a satisfactory answer to my question." "Name one useful thing that you do around here? Give me an example of one thing you responsibility for or one duty that you perform?"

"I told you we're not going to discuss it," replied his father. "You still haven't given me a satisfactory answer to my question. Name one useful thing that you do around here. Give me an example of one thing you are responsible for or one duty that you perform."

"I hunt and fish. I bring in what I catch for the cooks.

"I hunt and fish. I bring in what I catch for the cooks."

"Well that isn't enough."

"Well, that isn't enough."

"Nothing's ever enough for you!"

"Don't talk to me like that boy," he said. "As long as you live under my roof you will address me in a civil manner."

"Don't talk to me like that, boy," he said. "As long as you live under my roof you will address me in a civil manner."

"Fine! I'm leaving. So I don't have to do anything you say" said Mark with a smug look on his face.

"Fine! I'm leaving. So I don't have to do anything you say," said Mark. He had a smug look on his face.

"And just where do you think you're going to go!"

"And just where do you think you're going to go?"

"I'm going to the 'Central Isle' and signing up for the High Council's navy;"

"I'm going to the Central Isle and sign up for the High Council's navy."

"No! Absolutely not," he said, "I forbid it."

"No! Absolutely not," he said. "I forbid it."


Mark put his hands on his hips and looked his father directly in the eyes. "I don't care what you say. I'm going." He turned to leave. "I'm not staying here to be told what to do and how to live."

"Son, you can't go. You're too young and haven't learned enough. You have to take over this estate when you're older," he said as he leaned forwards. "You have yet to learn responsibility, you have not learned to be a man and until you have you will stay here!"

"Son, you can't go," he said as he leaned forwards. "You're too young and haven't learned enough. You have to take over this estate when you're older. You have yet to learn responsibility, you have not learned to be a man and until you have you will stay here."


Mark spun back around "I'm leaving in two months!"

Mark spun back around. "I'm leaving in two months!"



"You foolish child-haven't listened to a word I have said have you..."

"You foolish child. You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"

"I am not a child!" he yelled, "I'm a man. A man who's capable of making his own decisions. I'm not like you or my brother. I don't have magic and I'll never be a scholar. So accept it and let me get on with my life," he said.

"I am not a child!" he yelled. "I'm a man. A man who's capable of making his own decisions. I'm not like you or my brother. I don't have magic and I'll never be a scholar. So accept it and let me get on with my life."


"You will stay here and do as you're told."

Mark turned his back on his father again and stomped towards the doors.

"Come back here this instant."

"Come back here this instant!"

He had just grasped the massive brass door handles of the double doors at the far end of the room, intending to slam them shut behind him, when an invisible hand yanked them away from him. He turned his back on the doors, as they crashed shut, to face his father who was standing in front of his chair with one hand in the air.

"I told you to come back."

"I'm not staying. You never listen to what I say."

"I do listen, son," he said, "It is you who never listen to me," he replied

"I do listen, son," he said. "It is you who never listens to me."

Mark stood face his father square on and looked him directly in the eyes. I will not give in. No matter what happens I will not give in. This time I will make him understand. Make him see how serious I am. This gloomy place is suffocating me. I have to escape. I can't stand it any longer. So no matter the consequences this time I will not be the one to back down.

Mark stood face his father square on and looked him directly in the eyes. 'I will not give in. No matter what happens I will not give in. This time I will make him understand. Make him see how serious I am. This gloomy place is suffocating me. I have to escape. I can't stand it any longer. So no matter the consequences this time, I will not be the one to back down'.

"I'm leaving whether you like it or not. It's something that I have to do."

"You have to stay here. You have lived in luxury all your life. You don't know enough to survive out there in the real world."


"A life of luxury - don't make me laugh. This damp and gloomy place is practically falling apart?"

"A life of luxury? Don't make me laugh. This damp and gloomy place is practically falling apart."


His father slowly shook his head "And that statement shows exactly how little you know and just how childish you truly are,"

His father slowly shook his head. "And that statement shows exactly how little you know and just how childish you truly are."


"I am not a child anymore! I'm a grown man who can make his own decisions"

I'm a grown man who can make his own decisions."

"You may think of yourself a man, Mark," he replied, "but you aren't yet and you wouldn't last very long on your own. Please, son, listen to reason. You're nearly there, but you still have some important things to learn. I understand the frustration you feel, but you need to give it a bit more time."

"I'm sick of arguing about this. I'm leaving! Nothing you say can change my mind this time" He turned his back on his father and reached for the doors again, "You can stop me with you're magic if you want to. But if you do then when I do leave I will be dead to you. I will change my name and never return.

"I'm sick of arguing about this. I'm leaving! Nothing you say can change my mind this time."

He turned his back on his father and reached for the doors again, "You can stop me with you're magic if you want to. But if you do then when I do leave I will be dead to you. I will change my name and never return.

He turned his back on his father and reached for the doors again, "You can stop me with you're magic if you want to. But if you do then when I do leave I will be dead to you. I will change my name and never return."

Mark's father shook his head and lowered his hand. The doors swung open and Mark stomped out of the room without a backward glance. He didn't see his father slump into his chair with his head in his hands; didn't see him cry and never knew how much that argument had hurt him.

He would never know that he respected his son for having a dream and sticking to it. Would never know that he wanted to let him go, but like any parent was afraid that he might get hurt. Would never learn how proud he was of his son's courage, determination and strength. Mark would never find out that he had written to the commander of the High Council's Navy to tell him that his youngest son would be starting his training with the navy in a year.