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| >> Static Item >> Fiction >> Comedy >> ID #1428261 |
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WC 488 Doing the Right Thing By Jack Rawlins "You can't hate them. It's just the way they are, the way they think. They'll never change. Might as well hate lightning, hate ice being cold and fire being hot." "Lenny, you are as full of shit as a Christmas turkey, which is my way of saying I disagree with you. I can so hate them. I do hate them. I don't like the way they think; but I do agree, they'll never change. Which is one more reason why I hate them. "Hey, and you know what else, Mr. Philosopher? I do hate lightning. It kills people, breaks things and starts fires. I hate ice because if it wasn't cold it wouldn't be ice and couldn't cause accidents, power outages, and freeze people to death. Fire? It's lightning's cousin. I hate fire because it's hot enough to destroy homes, slaughter firemen and cook women and children." "But getting back to the Scofflaw twins... Ziggy and Herman are a couple of gonifs... thieves who would steal from their own mother. They're rich because they'll screw anybody to make a buck. "Leroy, they're just tough businessmen." "You can be tough and not screw people. Look, they screwed me out of my finder's fee on a million dollar deal...fifty thousand bucks! That was going to be the down payment on the new condo I promised Mindy. "I know better, but I got nothing in writing. The deal was based on a promise and a handshake--- two handshakes. They said they could have done the deal without me bird dogging it, that I didn't deserve my fee. That's bull. It wouldn't have happened without me. "Lenny, my momma and daddy taught me to always do the right thing. Right now, that right thing is revenge. I'm gonna make turd pie out of those guys." "Leroy,you're over reacting." "I'm sick of people---including you, my dear friend ---telling me I'm over reacting every time I get pissed. The Good Book says it's more blessed to give than to receive. I'm ready to give the Scofflaw twins both barrels." "What are you going to do?" "I already called my friend Pauli the Pulverizer in Newark. He's like family, and he owes me. He'll track them down and break several of their bones." "You're not serious?" "Damn right, I'm serious. And that's just for starters. Cousin Vito drives a truck for Buena Transit Mix. That cute little Vet convertible those guys drive when they're showing properties is gonna get filled with fresh cement the next time they park it--- even if Vito has to tear off the top to drop his load. He owes me, too." "Leroy, you can't just take the law into your own hands." "Oh yes, I can. I won't get my fifty grand, but you can bet your tuchus I'll get a hundred thousand bucks worth of satisfaction." ###
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