|As I walked through the streets I realized that nothing was familiar. I couldn’t recognize a single building. It was so dark. I was having trouble picking up scents, and the few that I could isolate were unfamiliar to me. Why hadn’t he found me yet? Normally he would have been at my side in an instant. If he was seeing these same buildings, smelling these same scents, then what was taking him so long? I continued to wander, avoiding eye contact with the large crowds passing me by. Getting lost was not something I was usually capable of. The city had never had such a clear night, and it seemed that, for whatever reason, I was forced to rely on the moonlight to guide me.
I wrapped my arms around my chest, wishing I had listened to him and worn a jacket. And although I was surrounded, I had never felt so alone. Why couldn’t I hear his thoughts? Wherever he was, it was a mystery to me. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on what he was seeing. But all I could see was black. This was so strange. I had one explanation for what was happening, but I refused to let myself believe it. ‘That’ had never really happened before. Just a story passed down along the generations. Right? It was too horrible to consider.
When I finally came to my senses I realized I was now really alone. I must have wandered off the main streets. I was in an alley. I walked down the narrow strip, trying to avoid the garbage strewn along the street. I could hear noises all around me; see shadows out of the corner of my eye. I became panicked, frantic – I was lost. I had to find him. I began to run. I didn’t care where I was going.
I continued to run towards the light at the end of the alleyway. I was running so hard that my lungs hurt. I stopped dead in my tracks. Because as scared as I was being lost and alone, that thought had me terrified. Why did my lungs…hurt? A new panic seized me as I tore out of the alley. On the other side I found myself in a park. All of a sudden something twinkled in the corner of my eye. I quickly turned my head and saw him. Everything else around me became blurry. The world around me was spinning, fading from my sight, but he appeared clearer than ever. Every ounce of fear left my body. Relief like I have never felt it seeped through my body. How silly I had been to worry. There was nothing that could be wrong when I looked at his perfect face.
His dark wavy hair was blowing over his eyes as he scanned the park. I searched his deep green eyes, waiting for them to meet mine. They turned slowly and found me. I was so paralyzed with emotion that I didn’t even realize how long it had taken him to see me. My breath caught in my throat and my heart accelerated. Warmth spread throughout me and I felt weak. I moved so quickly that no one around would have been able to notice. Before I knew it I was so close against him that not even air could pass through the space between our two bodies. I placed my hands on his chest and threw them underneath his brown leather coat and around his body. I clung to his shirt and lifted myself onto the tips of my toes. His breath was so warm and sweet. As soon as it hit my nostrils I felt faint. Everything about him was intoxicating. The excitement was building to a pulse inside me as I raised my face towards his. His eyes were downcast, avoiding mine. I could see it on his face – the anguish and guilt for losing me. I wanted him to know that it was ok, wanted to erase this pain as quick as possible. I closed my eyes and moved my face towards his. I followed the warm, sweet breath that was seeping out of his parted lips and pressed mine to his. I thought I might explode with the anticipation, waiting for his lips to move with mine.
What felt like an eternity passed when I realized that he wasn’t returning my kiss. I pulled my face away, unable to hide the hurt that was splattered across it. His eyes were still looking down.
“Jasper?” I said.
He continued to look down.
“Jasper?” I repeated, this time slightly more frantic.
He didn’t speak, only raised his eyes and looked passed me. As I said his name a third time, with no intent to hide the panic in my voice, he slid himself out of my grasp and turned around to walk away. I lunged forward and grabbed onto his jacket. I tried to turn him around, shaking his arm and screaming. I ran in front of him and put both of my hands on face trying to force him to look at me. For the first time I noticed how cold his skin felt next to mine. My warm skin. My skin with blood flowing through it. Jasper continued to walk as if I wasn’t there. He couldn’t see me. I stood in horror as I realized that my worst fear wasn’t imagined. It was happening. I was human.
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