to never feel this way again

I've never felt this way
grounded in colorless contradiction
grief swelling like a flag in the wind
like the sudden uncertainty
of a dog’s sad howling
my hands are numb penning words
akin to the solace of prayer
the puzzle of my soul becomes clear after
so many nights crying in solitude

caught between a nightingale and an owl
the music of weeping casts shadows everywhere
yet after a lifetime of anticipation
your tender promises have touched a place
so deep within my restless soul
a ghostly murmuring that love abandons no one
— not me, a child of peace, knowing only your battles —
yet the miracle of pink conquering midnight
confuses reality and simple impression
early in my sleepless blindness
the morning is victorious
and I look to its clear fading light
a whiteness not yet mine to share
before I say farewell to a man I never knew


to never feel this way again
[2008.29.6…c]
N-E n° 50
The ALB, Jr Poems