Bored on the 4th of July

"If I eat my vegetables, will you let me blow something up?" This kid isn't offering squat. "If we get fireworks, I won't stay out late." Like his parents want him inside in the first place! "I'll pay YOU allowance." Ahh, now were talking. "I'll manually pop your corns, pimples, ETC." HEYO, WE HIT THE JACKPOT!!!!! But still the boy's parents said, "I'm sorry Jimmy, but due to the drought, and the recent fires, having fireworks would be illegal." Okay, for Jimmy's sake, I would like to point out that it was already illegal to own fireworks in this state. So there wouldn't a difference. What about last year, or the year before that?! You have no excuse! BITE ME, JIMMY'S PARENTS!!!! Hey, but if you think i'm mad look at Jimmy. He's acting like he had a lobotomy. He won't move or speak.

At first Jimmy's parents thought nothing of his boredom. But when he went into a catatonic state, they took him to a shrink. "Jimmy," the therapist says, "why are you so upset about fireworks?" Jimmy actually responds. He says "I don't care about that." His parents, confused ask "Then why did you stay motionless?" Jimmy responds "I pooped my pants."