yesterday, today, tomorrow

I am a lonely dancing boy
I twist and err through life
to rhythms entwined in the unseeing regard
of your immortal eyes — their ghostly gaze
illuminates the obscurity where I still roam
praying quietly for harmonious repose
after a lifetime beseeching you
for the secrets to your colorless love —
so quickly lost to the west wind’s dying embers
like a few grains of fine sand trickling through my fingers

like an artist before an empty canvas, I wait
to follow you along the inevitable path of peace…
we are drawn together, outlined in black and white
united so I may at last become your shadow
in the palest moonlight of eternity’s grasp
you, gentle whisperer of languid lamentations,
sing lullabies to the deepest night
while I recline in sleepless longing
waiting for a love that you could never share…

I have always been a lonely dancing boy
shrouded now in your shades of darkness
my momentum lost
I make a last wish on a falling star
as I count the blinking pinpoints in a sky
filled with light years of your estrangement
and yet hope one day to become blind to its dark glare,
that everlasting reminder of your absence,
yesterday, today, tomorrow…

because I still imagine the rosy fragrance of your love
a bittersweet thorn that pricks my soul
and leaves blood-stained teardrops streaked on my pillow —
motionless in the cold numbing of grief, I wait
to hear an otherworldly murmur
of your unsung melody —
I have always loved you…

yesterday, today, tomorrow
[2008.5.7…a]
The ALB, Jr Poems