Home Again

Home Again
By Billy Mau

Sometimes you don’t get to say goodbye. It isn’t fair, but that’s how it happens. It’s how it happened for Roddy Pierce. He wasn’t able to say goodbye to his wife, Shanna. Oh, he tried in the hospital, but everything seemed so far away. He felt like he was seeing the world beyond his bed through one of those long cardboard tubes that wrapping paper come on.

Roddy was much more alert than what the doctors gave him credit for. He heard words like coma and brain damage. The doctors must have been right because Roddy couldn’t find any way to contradict them. No delusions for Roddy. He knew he was dying.

He wasn’t sure he’d want to live even if he could. His body didn’t feel right - it didn’t feel like much of anything. He felt flashes of hot, cold, and pressure, but it was never “right.”

How he got in the hospital was a bit of a mystery. Nurses had talked about a car crash, but he couldn’t remember one. The last thing he remembered was leaving town for a fishing trip with his brother. They were going up to the lake to catch some trout and camp out for the weekend. If he made it up to the lake, he couldn’t recall it in the hospital. All that mattered to him was Shanna. He wanted to talk to her. He tried every time he heard her in the room. He shouted for her, but those shouts never made it out of his mind.

Eventually, everything faded away. First he couldn’t see the room, then he couldn’t hear anything either. The world was gone. Roddy had no grasp of time in this state of sensory deprivation. He was alone with his thoughts, all of which regarded Shanna. He relived their time together. Every phone call, every date, every day of their two years of marriage. All that was missing was closure.

Then a funny thing happened. Roddy moved his arm.

The arm didn’t move very far. Wherever he was, it had a very low ceiling. It was still dark, but a different dark. This darkness was caused simply by a lack of light. The darkness he had been in before was caused by a lack of everything. He moved his arm again, then his other arm. He tested his legs. They moved, too.

He pressed against the ceiling. It didn’t move, but gave the impression that it might. He pressed harder. Still nothing. He began thrashing, feeling no pain as his arms and legs slammed into the ceiling of wherever he was. He was stronger than he remembered. He could feel it. His strength was confirmed when the padded wood above him began to splinter. A few more blows and it split, allowing a flood of dirt to pour down on Roddy.

He panicked. The dirt covered his face, smothering him. Panic subsided as he slowly began to realize he hadn’t been breathing to begin with. Slowly he forced his way out of the box he was in and up through the soft dirt. He broke free in time to see the sun set. He recognized his surroundings instantly. It was the family plots at Autumnwood Cemetery. He was nearly twenty miles from home.

Roddy staggered through the cemetery gates in the failing light and turned towards home. His legs didn’t work the way they should. They were stiff and moved in a series of jerks and jolts. Further confounding his stride was a severely broken right ankle. It didn’t hurt as he walked, but he could see his foot was pointed in the wrong direction.

Sheer willpower propelled Roddy along the roadside to his beloved. He would not be denied this time.

He walked tirelessly straight through the night. He was lucky enough to encounter no travelers until just before dawn when a sheriff’s deputy spotted him. The cruiser pulled alongside Roddy, creeping slowly so the deputy could keep Roddy at the passenger window.

“Late night partying?” the deputy said in a tone that suggested he was no stranger to drunks.

Roddy ignored him. Go away, the said in his mind. What came out of his mouth was little more than a weak moan. The deputy leaned over a little to get a better look at Roddy.

“You’re looking pretty rough. Maybe we should get you to a hospital.”

Roddy tried to wave off the remark, but his newfound strength combined with his diminished motor skills made the motion more of a chopping action that took the passenger side mirror off the patrol car. The deputy quickly slammed on the brakes. Thank you, Roddy thought as he continued plodding along.

The driver side door opened and the deputy stood up half out of the car.

“Now you stop right there!”

Roddy ignored the demand. This person meant nothing to him. Roddy didn’t know how much time his body would give him and this guy was wasting it. Roddy heard the door shut and the deputy’s footsteps as he came around the front of the car.

“I said st..”

The words were cutoff. He must see the foot, Roddy thought. He turned his head as much as he could and saw the deputy gaining on him. Again he tried to tell the man to go away, but managed only another moan.

“Stop or I will have no choice but to use force.”

He got in front of Roddy and was slide-stepping backwards. There was a small canister in his hand. Pepper spray, Roddy thought. He’d dug his way out of six feet of dirt and walked for more than ten hours on a broken leg. Pepper spray was not of any concern at that point.

“Stop now,” the deputy shouted and let a stream of spray fly into Roddy’s face. It didn’t hurt, but it blurred his vision. He screamed, but not a one of pain. It was a scream of anger. This man had bothered Roddy long enough. He lunged at the deputy, catching him by the collar. Roddy pulled the deputy close, and without thinking, bit hard into the man’s neck. His teeth tore into the flesh and blood sprayed into his face as he pulled away, taking a chunk of the deputy with him.

The deputy fell to ground screaming and pulled his gun. He emptied the clip at Roddy. His aim was bad, but more than half a dozen of the bullets struck Roddy in the stomach and chest. Roddy felt tiny points of pressure, but no pain. There was also no blood other than that of the deputy’s. Roddy watched the deputy crawl towards the patrol car. He was bleeding heavily from his neck and barely made it halfway before completely collapsing. Roddy turned back on his path and was not bothered again on his way to his home.

Roddy was horrified by his own actions and thrilled at the same time. It was as if there was a battle within his mind between who he was and something animalistic. He hadn’t spit out the deputy’s flesh. He had held it in his mouth, savoring it. He may not have been able to feel pain, but he certainly could feel pleasure. The flesh in his mouth was good. He has swallowed it without chewing. He felt a refreshing wave resonate through his body. That animal side of his mind begged him to go back for more as the deputy collapsed, but he fought the urge. Shanna mattered more than whatever was happening to him. He had to see her again.

A morning fog was settling in as he reached his neighborhood. A jogger passed him on the other side of the street and it took all of his strength to resist the urge to attack her. The animal was growing stronger. The fog was thick enough to obscure his features, but the female jogger was noticeably wary of his presence. He had to hurry. What was left of his mind knew well enough what would happen if he drew too much attention to himself.

Roddy went from window to window at his house until he found her. She was in the kitchen. She looks sad, but still beautiful. Something that felt like a tear rolled down Roddy’s cheek. He reached for the window of the back door, but put his arm through it instead. Shanna screamed, staggering backwards in shock. Roddy didn’t think she could see it was him. She thinks I’m a burglar, Roddy thought, or maybe worse.

He tried to call out for her, but only a raspy howl came out. She bolted out of the room. He forced his way through the door, glass and wood splinters digging into he arms. Roddy fell as the door broke in front of him. Getting up was much more difficult this time, but he managed to gain his feet again and staggered to the hallway.

Roddy could hear Shanna screaming, but more than that, he could smell her. She smelled delicious. He tried to force the thought from his head, but the animal was getting stronger. The animal was taking over. Roddy tried to turn away and leave the house. The animal would kill Shanna if it found her. It would devour her like it wanted to do with the deputy. He tried to leave, but it was no use. It wasn’t his body anymore.

Roddy was helpless as his body ambled down the hallway. She was in the downstairs bathroom. Stupid, he thought, why couldn’t you have gone upstairs? Roddy was sure this body would not be able to navigate the stairs. His body started howling as he neared the bathroom door. He could hear her inside. She was screaming into the phone. 911, he thought. He hoped someone could get her in time to help her, but he doubted it would happen.

Roddy watched his arms slam against the door. There was nothing he could do as the door splintered, then broke apart. His heart wrenched when he saw her inside. Her screaming faltered as she saw who he was, but began anew and with even more fright as he neared. She had retreated to the bathtub, but there was no escape. She had picked the worst place to run to. He fought in vain for control of his own body as his grabbed her. He tried to force his head away as his mouth closed on her shoulder. He desperately tried to shut his ears to the sounds of her screaming and fought the waves of pleasure that came over his body as he greedily ate the woman he loved most in life.

He prayed for release as the animal within him grew stronger, forcing Roddy deeper into his own mind. He was barely aware of the screaming policemen in the hallway until the first bullets hit him. He turned to see two of them. Shanna was dead. Her throat was torn open, as was her chest and stomach. Her blood gurgled in the bathtub drain.

Both officers fired on him. Most shots went to his legs and body. The policeman kneeling in the doorway raised his aim in a final attempt to stop the thing in the bathroom. Roddy watched the bullet leave the gun. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the slug closed in on his head. There was the slightest sensation of pain as the bullet entered the forehead. The animal inside of him screamed as the bullet tore through his brain. The world was fading as the bullet burst through the back of his head. Everything was totally black before he hit the floor.

This time, it stayed that way.