Sea of Heartbreak

The ship I was on was mighty. The sails strong and clean, always a favorable wind at her back. Then one day, without warning, the yards broke off, the sky grew dark and the seas became angry. I found my once strong, beautiful ship, sinking to the bottom of a dark sea. I clung to a small piece of wreckage, a subtle reminder of where I had been. I try to stay afloat, but she keeps battering me with wave after wave, one moment, this angry storm tries to drown me, the next moment, she shows a ray of sunlight. But as quickly as the suns shines warm and comforting on my face, she clouds back up and commences to pummel me with waves of anger, doubt, and despair. I emplore her, "Please! either drown me or cease this torrent and let the sun shine on me again!" I cannot take much more. What does she hope to accomplish? have I done something in my past to cause this? have I somehow hurt the storm, and now she punishes me? I feel all hope is lost, I want to go under for the last time. Anything to stop this suffering. Just then, I see another ship on the horizon. She's a beautiful ship, even without me being in my situation, I would notice her beauty. She throws me a lifeline, but I am reluctant to take it. why? Am I convinced that this new vessel will suffer the same fate? do I worry that I will only anger the storm more by seeking refuge on another ship? I know I had better decide soon, I cannot stay afloat on my own much longer.