Front Porch of Purgatory

Ralph walked into the dining room, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a sleepy smile. When he saw me give his bare torso the 'evil eye', he gave me that 'Oops, you caught me' smile of his and immediately turned around. Five minutes later he re-entered the room, wearing a gray T-shirt whose color almost matched that of his sweatpants. Giving me a 'you satisfied now look', he took a seat at the head of the table as the rest of the house came filing into the dining room.

"Pancakes and tofu sausage, Melanie?" The question came from an Jack, an older man who had one time been the regional manager of a chain of discount motels. He pointedly ignored Ralph while asking me the question. Ralph just smiled. Jack had only been living in the house for two weeks, and still hadn't come to terms with his new surroundings.

I shrugged. "House rules, Jack. Nothing with a face ends up on a plate." The answer had been the same for the last two weeks, for every meal. Personally, I enjoyed the lacto ovo vegetarian fare, but the more die hard carnivores who came to live at the house had a hard time adjusting.

"Pork's bad for you, Jack," Ralph added. "Anyway, I think these sausages taste better with maple syrup."

Jack was making an obviously determined effort to pretend that Ralph didn't exist. Ralph didn't seem to mind. A lot of newcomers to the house had a harder time adjusting to Ralph than they did to house's meat-free kitchen.

(work in progress)