A Gift to Remember

WC 482

A Gift to Remember

By Jack Rawlins

“Bernie, I just can’t thank you enough. Your birthday present was just what I needed-- the perfect gift for a horny eighty-five-year-old.”

“Your welcome, Uncle Charlie. I knew you’d enjoy Silky Cacoon. From what I hear, getting laid by her is always a special treat. Let’s have another martini while you tell me about it.”

“Yes lets. And I will. One of the many reasons you’re my favorite nephew---beside the fact that you are my only nephew--- is because you’re full of good ideas. Gifting me with Silky was pure genius; it’s a gift I’ll cherish ‘til my last gasp.

“You know, since your aunt Tilley died I’ve been coming in here every Friday night to watch Silky do her thing with that brass pole. I had no idea she was day-lighting as a matinee special.”

“Uncle Charlie, she’s a shrewd business person. She would get her lovely ass bounced out of here faster than a bad check if her boss found out she was hustling on the side. Actually, hustling is a poor choice of words. She does not hustle. She is discrete and very selective about her clients. And she has a heart of gold.”

“Speaking of gold… She must have cost you a pile of it.”

“Such a deal I got. You wouldn’t believe. She not only gave me the senior discount --since it was for you-- but also the new client introductory offer which includes a special gift-- plus a coupon for a twenty percent discount on your next visit.

“Before she became a pole dancer Silky was in charge of customer relations for First National, so she understands the value of long term relationships.

“Did you get your gift?”

“Yes. She gave me a lifetime supply of Mint Vagina Jelly. It was only a small tube, but I’m sure I’ll be gone before it is.”

“So tell me Uncle… What’s so special about her technique?”

“Bernie, it’s not her technique; it’s her attitude. She gives new meaning to the term ‘a satisfied customer.’ She is a gentle, compassionate lover who believes it is more blessed to give than to receive. She says that’s why she puts out--for a price of course.

“She says erectile dysfunction is a myth. She said, ‘I have never seen a wrinkled penis that I couldn’t straighten out.’

“She also told me she wanted all of her clients ‘to die from chronic fatigue—with a smile on their face.’ That’s when I dozed off. Must have slept for a good hour.

“When I woke, she said, ‘Charlie, you loveable old coot, you’ve had it.’

“I couldn’t remember for sure, but I took her word for it and left with my gift.”

“Uncle Charlie! Are you telling me you don’t remember getting laid?”

“That’s not important, Bernie. It was a wonderful gift. It’s the thought that counts.”

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