Old at Twenty-four

waiting on that last train,
a filthy walkway, urine stains.
crying frightened, shameful tears.
How did I become so burdened with pain?

smut clings, no longer washes away,
in pores so deep I can’t run from me.
I wait for the last sweet snow rush,
hope to get a little taste of the honey bee.

been running too long and fast,
down an endless time tunnel.
Smoke the gin and drink the powder,
Alice of Wonderland in troubled water.

lush life was Jennie in a jewel bottle.
a princess in a castle, I glow without pain.
I had answers for all asked of me,
climbing the Magic Beanstalk tree.

Sex for drugs, get high, don't feel.
You have to steal to score.
The drugs are a crystal kaleidoscope.
They even cover up AIDS at twenty-four.

Now I wait on the last train.
No home, no family, no love, no high.
God, I have come a long way.
Let me have the strength to die.


By Kathie Stehr