The Office Pest

Harvey was at it again, telling another one of his ‘last night’ stories; as if we cared what he did last night.

         The stories don’t vary much. The woman might be blond, brunette or redhead and all other descriptions of her referred to the length of her legs and the size of her chest, which, he made sure we knew, didn‘t quit. We knew what was coming. She saw him across the bar and couldn’t take her eyes off him and next it was her hands she couldn’t keep off him. “And so we end up at my place and…”

         Of course, nobody believed a word he was saying. Harvey was a round little man about 55, shiny bald on top with a graying pony tail. He was a nuisance but they wouldn’t fire him because he was a relative of somebody in the front office. We knew he lived with his mother who came in every Thursday to get his paycheck; she made him sign it in front of everybody and give it to her. She gave him bus fare and lunch money each day. I know that because one day she forgot and he had to borrow a couple of dollars.

         I guess we understood why he had to make up these bogus conquests. If nothing else he was predictable. There was nothing he could do that would surprise us, or so we thought until yesterday. He walked out of the break room We thought he was headed back to his desk, but moments later Dave ran into the break room, white as a sheet. “Harvey just jumped off the building!” he said.

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