See Tom Run

         Sandy was lonely.  The divorce had been final for almost a year but the quaintness of having the house to herself was wearing off.  She took a deep breath and looked around the room.  She loved the new color and for the first time in her life she had brand new furniture; something she had picked out on her own rather than someone else’s castoff.  She even loved the exterior of her home.  She had painted the clapboard siding a soft, muted green; it was much different from the horrid ‘baby poop orange’ her husband had insisted upon when they’d moved in.  In the fifteen years she’d lived there, the house had never looked better, inside or out, and the yard had never been so well tended.

         Still, something was missing.  Life?  Conversation?  When guests filled her rooms and their words echoed from the plastered walls, the house was perfect: warm, cozy, inviting, accommodating.  When the guests left, however, it was just a house.  The children were grown up and married and the only thing she looked forward to after a long day at work was a relaxing soak in the tub in her freshly redecorated bathroom followed by snuggling deep into cool, crisp cotton, lavender-scented sheets and a lengthy chat on the phone with her sister.

         Her sister— since the divorce her sister had taken such good care of her.  Joyce called every night to invited her to dine with her family.  Whenever possible, they went to Saturday luncheons out on the town; just the two of them.  She'd helped her paint and brought her teenaged son to manicure the small yard and weed the gardens.  She had even spent the night for weeks at a time when her ex-husband was harassing her, wanting to get back together after his newest girlfriend had dumped him.  Twenty-five years of his infidelity and lies were enough for Sandy, and she wasn’t about to put up with any more of his foolishness.  She filed a restraining order when she found evidence of tampering around her doors and windows and he continued to call at all hours.

         Knowing Tom’s fear of dogs, Joyce’s husband Samuel suggested she adopt a large breed with equally large teeth.  “The dog could keep you company and scare Tom away,” he’d quipped. But Sandy had always been more of a cat person.  Besides, she didn’t think it fair to keep the animal locked up inside all day with no attention or exercise while she was at work.

         One evening Samuel came in from work and handed Joyce a note.  “Found this on the bulletin board in the break room,” he announced, trying to hold back a smile.

         Joyce looked at the note and stifled a giggle of her own, thinking of the possibilities.  “Let me call Sandy and see what she says.  I’ll put her on speaker so you can listen.”

         After customary greetings, Joyce stated the reason for her call.  “Samuel found something today that he thinks could solve your problem with Tom creeping around your house.  Listen:  ‘One large green and blue parrot needs a good home.  I’ve had him for years and love him to death but he’s mean to my cats.  The ornery old bird thinks he’s a dog!’”

         Not a sound came from the other end of the line.  “Humph!” Sandy finally replied.  What began as a single, controlled understatement of her amusement soon became a fit of giggles, followed by uproarious laughter as she imagined her ex-husband running for his life at the sound of a barking, uh, parrot.

         “I think that might just work,” she managed.  “Is there a number?”

         Samuel made the arrangements, and was soon on his way to pick up the bird.  At Sandy’s home, he set up the cage as she became better acquainted with her new roommate.

         “You don’t suppose he only barks at cats, do you?” Sandy asked when the parrot failed to bark during the first hour.

         Samuel reassured her.  “Bob said the bird barks at everything.  He even has a large vocabulary.  Bob had him say a few things when I picked him up.”

         “Maybe he needs a little time to adjust to his new surroundings,” Joyce suggested.  “Let’s go pick up the kids and get some dinner.  Perhaps he’ll feel more talkative when we come back.”

         “Let’s go to Halfley’s,” Sandy said.  “It’s Wednesday and you know what that means: half-price meals if you wear a fanciful hat.”  She giggled as she went to her bedroom and took a box from the closet shelf.  “Tom always hated to go there because my hats embarrassed him.”

         Joyce snickered.  That was the only thing Samuel and Tom ever had in common:  they were both embarrassed by Sandy’s eccentric taste in hats.  This evening she chose a wide brimmed straw hat with a big white band, fluffy, multi-looped bow, long streamers, and bright silk flowers.  She then chose something less conspicuous for her more conservative sister.

         As the family returned to Sandy’s they were met by a cacophony of raucous barking and growling.  A dark figure ran across the yard and leapt over the chain link fence.  Sandy held the door wide open and shouted, “Sic ’im!” 

         A frightened gasp escaped from the fleeing figure as he turned his terrified face toward the group.  Samuel jumped in the car and rounded the block to cut the prowler off and detain him for the police.

         “It was Tom!  I know it was!” Sandy exclaimed repeatedly as Joyce called the police.  “Why can’t he just leave me alone?”

         The headlights of the police cruiser highlighted the frantic trespasser.  Tom beat on the window with his fists, begging to be let in.  “I’ll do anything!” he cried.  “Just keep that dog away from me!”


987 words

Written for Writer's Cramp:  Write a story or a poem about a fanciful hat, an ornery old parrot, and a house that has been painted green...