Take a Step Back Chapter 5

Rachel woke up the next morning at around ten. She stared at the ceiling suffering from a major hangover. She remembered last night briefly; she now realized she is grounded yet again. She did regret somewhat about going out but it was well worth it to be invited by the popular group to a party. She finally overcame her raging heading and got out of bed. The first thing she did was head for the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and noticed she looked like a mess. Her brown hair was messy, and her makeup was running. Rachel headed back to her bedroom to grap a pair of sweat pants and a baggy sweat shirt and returned to the bathroom. She quickly had a shower.

When she got out of the shower she got dressed, and brushed her hair, and put on a bit of makeup to cover her dry eyes. It didn't seem like enough to Rachel. She didn't see any true beauty. She looked like a pudgy pig, unattractive. Rachel tried to convince herself. "I'm fine," she kept on saying to her self, "I'm pretty," But the little voice inside of her that gained the name Judy kept close reins on her.

"Rachel," she would say, "You are too fat. Food is your enemy. Exercise is your friend,"

Rachel went to the toilet and just vomited her pain away. Ten minutes of harshness was coming to a end. Rachel ended up a heap on the floor. Her face was in full tears. She leaned up in the corner of the room, her hand rested on her head; she couldn't figure out how to change this feeling. She finally managed to get up off the floor. She glanced at the scale on the ground. She got up and stood on it. Seventy eight pounds; Rachel looked emotionally at it. Diet pills. Exercise. Must Exercise. She wiped away her tears heading out of the bathroom.

She walks to the living room across from the kitchen. She noticed that no one was in sight. She sneaks for her bottle of diet pills. Ignoring the label of one, she takes three. Water. Rachel takes a big gulp of water. She noticed the note on the table. It was a list of chores. Rachel sighed when she read it. Sweeping. Rachel hated sweeping. Mopping. Alright but it wasn't fun. Dishes. Typical chore no problems. The last one caught her off guard. Bathrooms. That was Natalie's job. She didn't understand why she had to do it. There was no reason to argue.

Rachel slowly, tiredly completed the list of chores. There was still no sign of anyone. Weird. Just last night her dad was almost refusing to leave because he didn't trust her. Rachel looked at the clock. It was noon officially or a little after. She decided she would go out for a walk. She left a note. That way they wouldn't worry.

Rachel put on a winter jacket and headed out. She found herself in a full length jog in not time. Her arms were going, keeping up with her pace. She suddenly stopped running at the park. She just forced her self to barf. She couldn't stop herself.

That was how it was for the next couple days. She would get up vomit, exercise, vomit, and exercise some more. In the past three days alone she only ate a total of about three hundred calories of which she purged. She also weighed herself three or four times a day.

Soon school started up again and Rachel was once again happy to be back. She didn't see Ragen for the first few days. All a sudden a group of people were coming up the Rachel.

"Rachel I heard you were at that party,"

"Yes," Rachel felt intimated. She felt this way for the majority of the day. When she got home she didn't feel any better. Things soon died down and the talk of the party were becoming a minimal after a couple days. Rachel however still was having a hard time. She was still struggling with reaching her goal of sixty pounds. She weighed in at seventy one pounds. She still had eleven pounds to go and it wasn't getting any easier for her.

It was nearing the end of January. Officially one month since the party. Rachel learned that Ragen had dropped out of high school to go live somewhere else. Rachel was still grounded but she was gaining some of her privileges back; she was allowed to have friends over once a week if pre approved but both parents and she was also allowed to go out for daily runs which worked wonders for Rachel. Rachel was happy that she officially weighed in at seventy pounds. She was just ten pounds away. Ten pounds away from her ultimate beauty.

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The last Saturday in January Rachel got up and headed into the kitchen where her mother was making something to eat. Rachel sat down with a bit of a headache

"Good morning," her mother said

"Good morning mom," Rachel replied

"How is my girl today?"

"I have a bit of a head ache,"

"Maybe you should go lay down," her mother suggested

"No, all I need is too go out for a run," she said

"Well, you should have something to eat first,"

"I'm not really hungry. I'll have something to eat when I come back,"

Rachel went for her run. She began to jog; her head began to get heavier. She felt weak all of sudden. She almost fell over. Rachel leaned over at the light pole for support. She couldn't figure out what wrong. She had only ran two miles and she all of sudden was feeling drained. She rested for a minute before forcing herself to walk back home. She took a deep breath every couple seconds. She reached her house.

"You back so soon?" her mother asked

"I fell on ice and bumped my head. It didn't help my headache," Rachel lied

"Well maybe you should go lye down,"

"No, I tried that earlier when the headache first started,"

"Well, if you like you can come with me to the store. I have to pick out some new shoes for Natalie and maybe we will be able to find something you like,"

"Alright," Rachel smiled,

Rachel followed her mother out of the house and into her car. They soon reached the store. Rachel got out of the car and followed her mother up and down the aisles. Megan picked out a few different shoes asking Rachel her opinion on a few of them. Rachel just nodded agreeing. Rachel was feeling a little light headed now. The pain in her head was getting worse. She just wanted to leave the store and go home and take a few diet pills, some water and just go to sleep.

"Exercise you dummy," Judy called, "You are fat remember,"

"Leave me alone," Rachel whispered

"Who you talking to?" Megan asked her daughter

"No one," Rachel looked up and faked smiled, "I was just talking to myself,"

"You are fat," the voice kept telling her. Rachel was getting the urge to just vomit. She was only ten pounds away from her goal. She was even convincing herself that maybe even fifteen pounds would be better. Rachel couldn't figure out was going on with herself. Her mother stared at her for a second.

"Are you alright honey,"

"I'm fine,"

"You sure,"

"Mom, don't worry," Rachel said, trying to hide her obvious pain. She looked pale and she was becoming weaker

Soon Rachel and her mother left the store and were heading for the car. Rachel was slowly walking when she just blanked out and collapsed on the sidewalk.

"Rachel," her mother cried, "Somebody help," she cried again.

People were gathering around them.

"Rachel, talk to me,"

"I called for an ambulance," A stranger said, "She don't look too good,"

"She said she bumped her head," Megan said, "She fell on ice,"

"Did it look bad?"

"I don't know. I didn't see," Megan tried to answer the stranger

Soon, the ambulance arrived.