Grogie and Les: The Miller's Tale

Grogie Van Wattlehap hated being a miller. Bloody windmills dotted the Dutch horizon for miles, and miles, and miles of reclaimed land. Grogie liked the word 'bloody'. It was a favoured expletive borrowed from his English friend, the structural engineer, Les Morgan.

Les knew Grogie was not a happy chap. After all when a miller keeps swearing emphatically to you about the 'bloody stink of flour', you can guess he is not happy in his career.

"It isn't that I am unhappy, Les." Grogie protested as he filled their cups with ale. The crank and wind of the windmill's sails turned throughout their conversation. "I just think there is more to life than different, bloody, grain weights, rodents nesting in the walls and weevil infestations in the flour. I don't want to end up like some cultural stereo type, chatting to mice on stairs."

"Where on the stair?"

"Knock it off." Grogie hooked an eyebrow to reel his friend's bad humour back in. "I want to travel - to see the world. Maybe even be discovered as a natural tenor, blossom as an international opera star and have mad affairs with sultry sirens. Who knows?" Grogie looked despondently into his beer mug. "I bloody hate windmills. Do you know I lost a pile of money, which was going to go into my 'Escape from Holland' fund?"

"Oh, that's too bad, my friend, but I think you're very quick to see the down-side to everything. Holland is a lovely country, and it is your homeland. Tulips, clogs, cheese, dykes and windmills run through the blood in your veins. However, if you are determined on starting a new life you need to focus on your goals. Did not the great Kevin Costner once say, 'If you build it, they will come?'"

"Yes, but he was talking about a baseball diamond for ghosts. My problems are a little different. Some tosser from the supplier's dropped off the wrong sacks. I only noticed I had become the new owner of half a metric ton of sunflower seeds after I'd signed for it. I would have shot myself there and then, if it weren't for the fact I couldn't afford the lead for the bloody bullets."

"Stone the crows, Grogie, will you cheer up, for God's sake? Nobody likes a whinging grouch, just because he has a job lot of sunflower seeds clogging up space in his windmill! As the great Tom Hanks once said, 'If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.' Honestly, you could add another dollar per bakery order, and call it 'Farmhouse Grain'. You could make a packet, leave the dykes behind you, find a wife who likes opera and travel the world."

"That's easy for you to say; you're an engineer. I looked it up in the dictionary and the definition of engineer is, 'one who brings about; makes happen.'"

"What's the definition of miller?"

"One who grinds down."

"That's true enough."

"Want to know the definition of Operatic Tenor?"

"Sure," Les laughed.

"Happy, fat man, who never has to wash flour out of his unmentionables, because sultry sirens would do it for him if he ever got flour in his unmentionable."

"When you put it like that, I think it's time for you to pursue your dreams. As Sean Lawlor said in Braveheart, 'Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it.' But right now, we have more pressing concerns."

"Really?"

"Yes. I just saw a mouse."

"Where?"

(587 words)

written, with the august prompts in bold, for:

ID: 1277388   (Rated: ASR) Beyond The Water's Edge - CLOSED  A creative essay writing challenge from The Talent Pond. CURRENTLY CLOSED! by SoCalScribe