A Nightmare of Drunken Sins…

Drunken Sins…

My papa, he had children – three
Now two are dead and gone.
And while I was the lesser liked –
‘Tis me who carries on…
He looks at me with spite and hate;
My feelings he doth desecrate!

For I was born a ‘special’ child
So different from the rest.
And though my papa treats me ill
My mama said I’m blessed.
But oh the looks he throws my way -
He shakes his head and draws away…

My early years were fraught with pain,
Such hideous abuse.
And in his drinking I became
His whimsical excuse
To raise his hand - upon me wage
A war that sparked his brutal rage.

Oh how I feared to creep inside
My melancholy house.
I’d tread most lightly with each step;
In silence - like a mouse.
He’d break me were I to awake -
Dear God how my soul used to quake…

And then one day he took a ride
With mama and the twins.
He wrecked them in a frenzied storm
Chocked full of drunken sins.
And in his wake - there was - but I…
The one he turns a blinded eye.

How cruel – events that shape our lives,
They enter through the heart.
And now that there is only me –
I can't, alas, depart.
He’s all alone.  He drinks all day.
I cannot leave his soul this way.

Oh, that I could!  For I despise
The things that he’s now done.
He’s taken all I’ve ever loved!
You’d think that he had won.
But family has a noose-like hold.
A son has duties – not foretold.

So I've remained with dearest dad
Who never wished me wife;
At forty five - I’ve yet to know
The ecstasies of life.
We understand each other well –
As glares exchange our common hell.

My papa is now old and gray
With nothing left to lose.
He has no inkling of the harm
He’s done imbibing booze…
Thus, I remain with furrowed brow -
And stand imprisoned… with a vow.