Parentheses Man #2

         Mr. Parentheses was feeding the pigeons in Punctuation Park when-
         (Why would I be feeding pigeons?)
         Well…Umm…I don't know. I just say what I'm told to say.
         (All right, whatever. What do I do next?)
         You notice your watch beeping.
         (I don't have a watch.)
         Use your imagination!
         (Okay. Umm… Ooh, look, an invisible watch that the narrator gave me! Wow, I can't see it! And look, it's beeping…)
         This signals the arrival of the bad guy!
         (Holy something! You're right!)
         Mr. Parentheses quickly puts on a colorful costume and becomes…
         PARENTHESES MAN!
         (Okay, now what?)
         :Hello, Parentheses Man.:
         (Oh no! It's the dreaded Colon!)
         :That's right! And I've built up an indestructible army of-:
         (Weiner dogs?)
         :No.:
         (Well, what is it?)
         :My army is made of… SEMICOLONS!:
         (Duh duh duhhh…)
         Hey! I'm supposed to do the dramatic music!
         (You snooze, you lose.)
         :Ahem.:
         (Sorry.)
         :My army of semicolons will take over the Earth!:
         (That's gonna take a while.)
         :Okay, maybe not the entire Earth. I'll settle for the nearest donut shop.:
         (Gasp! You fiend!)
         :And there's nothing you can do to stop me!:
         (Why not?)
         :Because I have this!:
         The Colon holds up a CD player and case. Parentheses Man cringes when he reads the title.
         (No! You wouldn't!)
         :Oh, yes I would.: He puts the CD in and presses "play"…
         "A sentence, sentence, sentence             
         Is complete, complete, complete       
         When 5 simple rules                                 
          It meets, meets, meets.
         It has a subject, subject, subject       
         And a verb, verb, verb.                           
          It makes sense, sense, sense               
          With every word, word, word…"
         (NOOOO!) cried Parentheses Man in despair. (Not the Shurley Method!)
         :Yes, the Shurley Method. Don't you just love the jingles?:
         (Two can play at this game!) He pulled out a CD of his own. The Colon gasps.
         :No,: he said. :Not that. Anything but that… The mere sound of it will drive my entire semicolon army to insanity!:
         Parentheses Man put the CD in and pressed "play".
         "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man,
         Play a song for me.
         I'm not sleepy, and there is no place I'm
         Going to…"
         :NOOOO! Not Bob Dylan!:
         (Yes, Bob Dylan. Don't you just love his voice?)
         :AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!:
         The Colon watched as every semicolon in his vast army was carted off to the loony bin.
         :You'll pay for this, Parentheses Man! You'll pay!:
         (Yeah, but not today!) The Colon ran off, presumably to the nearest funny farm to join his semicolons.
         (Hey, is Bob Dylan really that bad?)