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  >> Static Item >> Editorial >> Writing >> ID #1472594  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Like an Onion
Ogres have layers; onions have layers. But cakes are delicious. Simile/metaphor
Rated:
E
by
Avg Rating: (5)
Like an Onion


Dialogue from the movie "Shrek".

Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example? Okay, er... ogres... are... like onions.
Donkey: [sniffs onion] They stink?
Shrek: Yes... No!
Donkey: Or they make you cry.
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave them out in the sun and they turn brown and start sproutin' little white hairs.
Shrek: NO! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers... you get it. We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. [pause] You know, not everybody likes onions. [pause] Cakes! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers!





Easter Egg number 88 for "Easter Egg Hunt




What a delightful scene to illustrate my point! Like a cake (or an onion), a short story has layers. Stack them however you wish, but these layers include plot, setting, characters, conflict—and the sweet, creamy icing which holds it all together—theme.

Sometimes we follow the recipe, only to end up with something that tastes, well...vanilla. I've actually had a few great ideas that came out onion-flavored. How do we fix it?

We can mix layers. Whip up the emotions and motivations of the characters in the conflict layer, or blend mood into the setting to foreshadow the plot. A great way to learn the intricacies of writing is to read your favorite authors and dissect their recipes. This site alone contains a million different flavors to test. Above all, keep experimenting.

While we work individually, we can share our successes, failures, and secret ingredients. How do you add spice to your story? Do you sprinkle on dialogue, or hide symbols inside? Maybe you decorate the top with rhetorical questions? In future newsletters, we'll explore the elements of short stories and our favorite literary devices.

Since I have a sweet tooth for metaphor and simile, we'll start there.

Simile


A simile compares two items, usually containing "like" or "as". (Usually. Similar to, in the same way that, etc.)

Your prose should be as fresh as new-fallen snow.

You can always start with cliché—then find a new way to show how one thing resembles another.

Your prose should be as fresh as new-fallen snow a ripe strawberry plucked from the vine.

In this original description, provide a specific attribute of the compared object. In the example, the word "ripe" suggests fall-apart-in-your-mouth freshness. The reader may get confused, like Donkey, if you fail to describe how at least one way the two items are similar.

In this short story, "S'more good, clean, harmless fun."   by SonofDrogo , the author works five words extra hard.

“No." I started to say. "Don't sha..." I was too late. Like an angler with palsy she shook the stick violently. The burning mass of double flaming marshmallow left the tip of the stick with surprising velocity. Like a meteor entering the earth's atmosphere, it whooshed through the night air, on a collision course with the cabin door.


I might have written: “She pulled her arm back as if to cast a fishing line, shaking the whole time.” But, in addition to remaining concise, like an angler with palsy puts an image in our minds we just can't shake. Pictures painted with words--isn't that what we are aiming for?

Metaphor


Metaphors give a writer more leeway. They can be as short as two words or as long as an entire story. The items compared in a metaphor are not just similar, but equal, at least in a literary and/or grammatical sense--many times a form of the verb "be" links the two subjects. In an implied metaphor, hints are given to the identity of the second object, but it isn't stated outright.

Her story was as polished as a diamond. *Left*(Simile where a story is like a diamond in one aspect.)

Her story was a brilliant diamond—cutting-edged, clear, and polished. *Left*(Metaphor where a story equals a diamond; several aspects are compared.)

Brilliant story! *Left*(Metaphor implying a story is equal to a light/star/diamond.)

My comparison of cakes and stories started as a simile and ended as an over-the-top metaphor. Unless you're going for a laugh, you'll want to be more subtle in a short story. I tried to flesh out the similarities by naming the layers and icing the cake. I could have stretched the metaphor by listing the steps of a recipe, or describing the melding of flavors. But you get it.

J.D. Casnig sums up the difference this way: “A metaphor can always be greatly extended, while a simile quickly reaches its limits.”

Like this newsletter.

I hope you've been entertained, as I couldn't resist the temptation to mix two delicious subjects together--writing and cooking. Join me in future editions for more ways to add zest to a story, including dialogue, theme, setting, and wordplay.



_______
Casnig, John D. 1997-2008. A Language of Metaphors. Kingston, Ontario, Canada:
Knowgramming.com

Metaphors and similes in action not only provide humor and characterization, but can also help us explore the depths of physical sensation and emotion. You can even stretch one into anthropomorphism. Enjoy these picks, and drop the authors a line to let them know how you liked their stories!

Metaphor and Simile



747016
My Garden  [E]
A metaphor for the soul. Still needs some editing; all comments are appreciated.
by Publius

Excerpt: I sat, as always, in my favorite seat between the frozen fountain and the dead rosebush and looked around at the garden, not minding the piercing cold. When you've been cold long enough, you see, you become too numb to notice anymore.


864024
Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor

Excerpt: Percy took a greedy bite of his sandwich and chewed for a moment. A sensation of wire brushes scrubbed the back of his nose, his eyes watered and he coughed, spraying half-chewed debris over his newspaper.


1420256
Cleo & Carla  [E]
It smells like rain, Cleo thought.
by MDuci

Excerpt: Her thoughts suddenly turned to Carla her best friend, and companion for more years than she could remember. She hoped that she wouldn’t miss her train tonight from Venice, and that she'd get home before the rains came pouring down.


1465964
Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor

Excerpt: Then, like a dance he had with a woman many years ago, the glowing passion of a rattle embraces him. Like a soft fragrance from old days, it trickles into his mind, seducing, forcing his senses to become a part of the concert.


1238698
Creature's Comfort - Part I  [13+]
short story about child abuse, relationships between siblings/friends
by D.L. Robinson

Excerpt: She heard the metal door close loudly downstairs. The vibration from the impact came up the walls and disbursed over the second floor, entering her bare feet like a bolt of lightning.


1471029
Noticed  [18+]
It was times like this when I wished my mother had sold me to the circus...
by silverfeathers

Excerpt: Look at him, standing there like he owned the world and the gods counted themselves lucky that he was around to keep the stars spinning, like the glowering Collegiate Council weren't no more than a pack of dirty street urchins begging for alms. Blessed saints, forget the circus; I'd be grateful if the floor could just open up and swallow me whole.


1326764
Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor

Excerpt: The prince sent servants to the mountain-pass. Each time the servants returned with white scared faces and said, "We met an ogre who guarded and blocked the way. His roar was terrifying. He had a huge club in his hand and threatened to kill us. We did not dare to go any further and defy him."

For a Laugh



1448889
Metaphorical Stew  [E]
What do you do when a simple description isn't enough? Create a metaphor.
by Jace--New prompt at 1380461

Excerpt: I came across this list of winning entries and decided to put them together in a coherent story ... of sorts. The grammar and punctuation were reproduced as written in the original entries. I hope you like ...


1478701
Bargain with the Beast  [E]
What has two horns and one bad attitude? My daughter, Billy.
by 1296462 Rising Stars' Best

Excerpt: Through undulating mud—one, pink, Tink backpack appears. “Doodle! Come here!”

Beaming, she gallops forward, head lowered--ramming my stomach..


For a Scare



1442858
Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor

Excerpt: He turned it to reveal a painting of a lovely young woman in a white dress, with long, black hair flowing to her waist. She sat in an elegant red chair, with a large diamond sparkling on the third finger of her left hand. “Isn’t it amazing?”


I have no feedback, as this is my first newsletter. Next month's topic will be symbolism, so if you have a fitting story, please submit it! Remember to add "relevant keywords" so others can find your story in a search.

What topics would you like to discuss? How do you add depth to your writing? Like a baby elephant in a flying circus, I’m all ears .

© Copyright 2008 1296462 Rising Stars' Best (UN: kimchi at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
1296462 Rising Stars' Best has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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