The Rocky Romance Caper

The Rocky Romance Caper

         It was the end of a very uneventful day. Spam spent it putting out one small fire after another, doing routine stuff that pays the bills. But, now the day was over. Cassidy was getting her stuff together to go home, prepare a meal for Jerry, and spend some quality time with the nine-year-old. Spam envied her. However, his big problem was the workday was quickly ending and he still hadn’t done the one thing he really wanted to do the first thing this morning. It was really difficult, even for a savy PI like Spam.

          “Ah, Cass?” he went ahead and blurted out.

          “Yes, Spam?”

          “Ah, Cass, you know Jocko has an old friend playing at his tavern this weekend?”

          “Yes, I know. Everyone is waiting to hear Gerry Mulligan play ‘Walking Shoes,’ and I just melt when he plays ‘Satin Doll.’ I’m pretty impressed Jocko could get him.”

          “Yeah, Mulligan plays a mean sax—no one better. He and Jocko go way back. Apparently, Gerry feels he owes Jocko, cause he drops into the tavern for a set whenever he’s in town. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about that.”

          “You want to talk about a saxophone player?”

          “No, Cass, I want to talk about him being at Jocko’s this weekend.”

          “Oh, OK, Spam—what’s on your mind?” Cassidy had slipped her coat on and was now giving her boss her undivided attention.

          “Well, I was wonderin’ if you’d like to go hear him Saturday night?”

          “Yeah, I would. In fact I was planning on it.”

          “Well, what I mean was we could maybe go hear him together, maybe.”

          “I see.”

          “Well, since we will be out, I thought you and me might pick up something to eat at Antonio’s Bistro, since we’ll be out and we gotta eat anyway.”

          “Why Spam, are you asking me out on a date?”

          “No, not really—I mean you were going anyway and I was going; I thought we’d just go at the same time.”

          “Uh huh, and what about Antonio’s Bistro. Was I going there anyway also? You know Spam, that’s a very romantic place. It looks to me like that’s the kind of place you take a girl on a date.”

         Spam could feel his ears getting warm and the palms of his hands were sweating. ”Good grief—what’s the matter with me?” He thought. “This is not the first time I’ve been alone with a dame.”

          “Call it what you want, Doll. Do you want to go or not?”

         Spam had been pushed far enough. Cassidy smiled broadly at him, leaned up on her tip-toes, and kissed him on the cheek. “Sure, Spam, I’d love to go to hear Mulligan play; and dinner at Antonio’s sounds perfect. You can pick me up at seven.”

         Cassidy winked at him, patted him on the cheek gently and said, “Do try to play nice with the other boys until then.” And, out the door she walked.

         Spam stared at the closed door and muttered to himself, “Well, I guess that went well.”

**********************************

         Spam walked out into the infant evening. Nothing much was happening. He saw a few cars outside Jocko’s. It was a little early for the crowd to hit. Ruben would be there, as well as some of the other regulars; but it would be a couple of hours before anything began happening at Jocko’s. Spam decided to drop in for an early evening drink, so he stepped into the street to cross.

         The car came out of nowhere. All of a sudden, there were bright lights and a screaming motor bearing down on Spam. He hesitated for just a moment and made a move to run to the other side of the street. However, he quickly jumped back the other way. Amazingly, the car swerved in the direction of his original move. The speeding car brushed by Spam as he jumped to the sidewalk. No mistake about it; the driver was trying to hit him. Spam rolled across the sidewalk and pulled his .45 cal. out of the shoulder holster. He took one shot at the car before it careened around the corner. He knew he hit it.

          “What the hell was that all about!” he heard Jocko exclaim as he ran up to Spam lying on the sidewalk. “I was lookin’ out the window when I saw this car about run you down!”

          “Beats me.” Spam responded. “Who knows? There’s gotta be a hundred peeved husbands out there who I’ve gotten the dirty laundry on, and heavens knows how many cons have served time because of me. All I know is it’s no mistake.”

          “Damn, Spam! You might ought to consider a new line of work.” Jocko grinned at his old friend, knowing this was just someting that came with the territory. This was Spam's world. There wasn’t anything else he could do—nothing else he wanted to do.

          “Yeah, I’ve considered becoming a fireman. All those guys do is jump into burning buildings. I suppose I need to give Dave a call for shooting my gun in the street, before some citizen calls.”

          “Come on, you can use the phone at my place.” Jocko helped his friend to his feet and the two walked across the street to Hannity’s, Jocko’s tavern. The phone was on a shelf below the bar top. Jocko walked behind the bar, pulled the phone to the polished bar surface, and dialed the number before handing it to Spam. Spam took the phone and listened to Dave Frisco’s number ring. Dave was a good friend and a cop. He was the best cop Spam knew and was even his partner years ago when Spam was on the force. But, that was a long time ago.

          “Hello, Dave?” ..... Yeah, Dave, this is Spam ..... Fine Dave, at least now I’m fine. Some good citizen of your fair city just tried to run me down in the street ..... Nope, I didn’t get his license, but I left a calling card. I put a .45 cal. slug in the trunk of his car ..... Oh, I’d say it was a 56 Chevy—white and dark blue ..... Nope, I’m not gonna shoot anyone; I’m finished for the night. At least I’m not planning on it ..... OK, I’ll catch you later—maybe tomorrow night when Mulligan’s here. Me and Cassidy are gonna catch him ..... No, it’s not a date. We’re just showing up at the same time.” Spam rolled his eyes ..... Yeah, catch you later.”

         Jocko replaced the phone beneath the bar top and shoved a drink over to Spam.

          “Did I hear you and Cassidy’s got a date tomorrow night? It’s about time.”

          “No, we don’t have a date. Why is everyone trying to get us to have a date?”

          “Sounds like a date to me.” Jocko replied, grinning at his friend. “At least that’s what they called it when I was doin’ it.”

          “She likes the sax and I like the sax; we’re just comin’ to hear a good sax. He will be here tomorrow night, won’t he?”

          “I suppose so. I haven’t heard any different.”

         Spam finished his drink, had a little small talk, and then called it a night. As he walked into the street to his Fairlane parked at the curb outside his office, he looked both ways up and down the street. There were no Chevys waiting for him; he crossed the street without incident. Somehow, he figured it was not over. Anyone, peeved enough to try to kill him once would surely try again. He’d have to be a little extra vigilant for a while.

*****************************

         Jocko’s place was rocking. Every seat was taken and a standing crowd was positioned at the bar and the door. Gerry was only good for one set tonight so everybody waited around for him. He performed many of the standards, his last song was “Satin Doll.” Cassidy was mesmerized by the mellow baritone sax. Spam was mesmerized by Cassidy. He watched her as she took in the music and was moved by every expression on her face. She almost cried at times and at the end of the song she even squealed like a school girl. Cassidy was special. Spam was just discovering how special.

          “Oh, I absolutely loved that, Spam!” Cassidy exclaimed as she clapped and watched Gerry leave the stage. “Wasn’t that just fantastic.”

         Spam grinned and agreed, “Yeah, from where I sat it couldn’t get any better, Doll.”

         Dave Frisco sat across from them at the table; together they made a threesome. “Yeah, if I had talent like that, I’d consider life perfect—what a sound.”

         Cassidy smiled at Dave and remarked, “Oh, Dave, you and Spam don’t have it so bad. You’ve got your jobs, each other, and all of us. Isn’t that perfect enough?”

          “Sure,” Dave laughed, “as long as some disgruntled husband doesn’t run over you.”

         Spam shook his head ‘no’ to Dave, but it was too late.

         Cassidy frowned and asked, “What do you mean, Dave?”

         Dave glanced to Spam and replied, “All I mean is you got to watch yourself, that’s all.”

          “Spam, what is Dave not telling me?”

         Spam explained slowly, “Someone tried to run me down yesterday. I’m OK and everything’s gonna be alright.”

          “You’re telling me someone tried to kill you last night. Is that what you’re telling me?”

          “Now Cass, you know this business. We come around all kinds of crazies out there. Sometimes things just happen.”

          “And, just when were you gonna tell me about this? Or were you gonna just let me read about it in the paper someday. ‘Spam Hummer, local detective, was run over by an idiot crackpot. His girl Friday is now out of work and her son Jerry has lost a good friend. That’s all folks!’”

          “Cass, everything is gonna be OK. Bankers fall down the stairs and crack their heads. Window washers fall off buildings. Hell, even teachers get hit in the crosswalks sometimes. That’s just the way it is.”

         Tears were beginning to leak down her cheeks as she responded, “Yes, I know Spam. But they don’t wear a gun and the people they associate with don’t have wrap sheets. I don’t know Spam; it just bothers me to think about people out there wanting to kill you…or maybe even harm those who are near you. Can we go home now, Spam?”

          “Sure, Cass.” Spam looked to his friend across the table and continued, “Dave, tell Jocko, we’ll visit with Gerry next time. It’s been a busy night and I’m gonna take Cass home.”

          “Sure, Spam. You two go on and get. I’ll catch you later.”

         Cassidy smiled at Dave and whispered, “Thanks, Dave.”

****************************************

         Spam was in the office early on Monday morning. He’d worked all day Sunday going through the cases he’d worked in the last six months. He was interested in anyone who may have been especially upset with his work. There were a half dozen cases of disgruntled husbands who had been caught being unfaithful. Of the half dozen two of the couples had broken up and were getting divorces. The other four had decided to work it out. Spam considered it highly likely they were just putting of the inevitable.

         The two remaining case folders were laying on his desk. He was going to go through them in detail early on Monday. Since it was now Monday, he picked up the one laying on top. He leafed through the file filled with notes and a couple of photos of the husband with his secretary. It was apparent they had a very close employee/boss relationship, too close.

         Not finding anything of interest, he tossed it aside and opened the other folder. Laying on top of the notes, were several 8”x10” glossy photos. He leafed carefully through them. They were taken from the Starlight Motel, where the couple had spent some time. The female in the photo was not the guy's wife; that fact had been particularly interesting to his wife. Spam continued to study the photos one by one. He froze on the last photograph. It showed the unfaithful spouse putting luggage into the trunk of his car. It was a 1956 Chevy. The photo was a black and white, but Spam would have bet all he had in his bank account that it was a dark blue on white.

         Spam wheeled around to the phone on his desk as Cassidy was entering for the morning. She carried a box promising to contain a dozen jelly filled donuts. Cassidy smiled and said, “Breakfast.”

          “Great, Doll!” Spam smiled at Cassidy and continued, “could you get me a cup of Joe to go with one of those?”

          “Sure, Spam. Who you calling?”

          “I’m calling Dave. I think I’ve got a lead on the jerk who tried to run me down.”

          “That’s good, Spam.” Cassidy set the donuts down, removed her coat and proceeded to get Spam a cup of coffee. Spam continued his call.

          “Hello, Dave? This is Spam ...... Doing great. Hey, listen, I think I’ve got a lead on the guy who tried to run me down ...... Yeah, I took a photo of him and his lover. It sunk his boat with his wife ...... Seems as if she is an heiress. The joker’s gonna lose out on mega millions because he couldn’t control himself ...... Oh, yeah, the car—it’s a 56 Chevy dark on white. I’ll bet my bottom dollar its dark blue. I’ll also bet it has a hole in the trunk. And, if your guys are really good they may even find a .45 cal. slug that fits my gun ...... Sure, I’ve got his address—room 543, Melrose Manor Hotel ...... Yup, I bet he’s there right now. Guys like him don’t get up until after noon. Let me know what you find. Bye.”

         Spam hung up the phone and turned his attention to Cassidy. She handed him his coffee and placed a jelly donut on a towel on his desk.

         She smiled at him, “Please try not to get jelly on your tie. You know, you need at least one which doesn’t have a stain on it.”

         Spam laughed and returned, “Sure, Doll, but you know the stores are full of ties and all I got here is this one jelly donut. You gotta draw your priorities.”

          “You’re right Spam; priorities are important.”

         Spam stopped what he was doing and seriously responded to Cassidy, “Listen, Cass, about last Saturday night, I …….”

         Cassidy interrupted him, “No, Spam, I need to apologize about my behavior. I was way too melodramatic. I understand about your job Spam. I love working with you and I can see that you are good at what you do. I sometimes get a little bit selfish. But, it was such a beautiful night, with the meal at Antonio’s and listening to Gerry Mulligan. I just got caught up in the moment and got all emotional. I’m sorry, Spam.”

         Spam was touched. It was times like these that confirmed he was forming something more than friendship with Cassidy. He loved her strength and her courage. And although he ignored the fact he loved her, he couldn’t ignore the way she made him feel.

          “Cass, you’ve got nothing to be sorry about. You’re absolutely right. It isn’t right to expect others to deal with the danger in my job. It was OK when I just had myself to think about. But, lately, I’ve been thinking of what it means to have you and Jerry in my life.”

          “Have you, Spam? Have you been thinking about us?”

          “Yeah, a lot. I’ve never had anyone else in my life Cass. At least no one that I really cared about. And, if you didn’t guess by now, I care about you and Jerry. It kinda makes me think about this job of mine. I mean is it fair to you and Jerry?”

          “And, what have you decided, Spam?” Cassidy looked in his eyes with a gentleness and understanding that gave Spam the strength to continue.

          “I’m not sure yet, Cass. But, I’m workin on it. I guess it’s the most important case of my life."

         "Well, Spam, just treat it like it was one of your cases. You've always been good at solving cases."

         "Yeah, I suppose so; I guess I could treat it like a case."

         "Sure you can; just think of me and Jerry as clients" Cassidy smiled and continued, "So, tell me then; how would you describe this case?"

          “Well, its about this dame, you see. She’s a nice kid.” Spam smiled and continued, “She’s a pretty good looker too. She’s looking for someone. Someone who will come into her life and make her feel safe—someone who will be there for her when the chips are down.”

          “How are you doin’? You found anyone for her?”

          “Well, I’m looking for the guy. And, I think I’ve found him. Only thing is he comes with a little baggage. I don’t know if she can handle the baggage. I’ve got to help her see if it’s worth it.

          “Well, how are you doin’?”

          “Like I said, I’m workin’ on it.”

          “Sounds like an important case, Spam. Keep working on it.” Cassidy smiled tenderly at Spam. “You’re a good PI, Spam. If anyone can succeed, you can. At least I hope you do.”

          “Thanks, Cass, I couldn’t do it with out you.”

          “You’re right, Spam.” Cassidy smiled tenderly at Spam, raised on her tip-toes to his cheek, and kissed him lightly. "You couldn't."

         The jingle of the telephone interrupted their conversation. Cassidy immediately answered it to find Dave Frisco on the other end. After greeting Dave, she handed the phone to Spam and listened to the one-sided conversation.

         "Thanks for the heads up Dave...I'd love to be there when you nail the guy...Yeah, give me the directions and I'll meet you there...sure, I'll wait for you; just don't mess around...OK, good-bye."

         Spam hung the phone on the receiver and grabbed his shoulder holster and gun. He expertly swung it on and fastened it, grabbed his coat, and made his way to the door.

         "Doll, I've gotta go and get this guy. I'm meeting Dave and his boys there. We'll talk some more when I get back."

         And out the door he went, without a chance for her to respond. Over the months she had known Spam, she had gotten used to his sudden departures. In the past, Spam always came back. In the past she had not worried much about him. Spam seemed invincible. However, in the past she had not loved him as much as she did today. This was certainly going to take some getting used to.

***************************************

         Spam pulled his Fairlane over to the curb across the street from the address Dave Frisco had given him. He noticed the address belonged to a pawn shop. Inside the shop, he could see a man talking to the clerk standing behind the counter. It appeared the conversation was getting heated. He checked his rearview mirror for Dave or a squad car. Apparently, he was first on the scene. He would prefer to wait for Dave; however, from the scene in the pawn shop, he determined he may not have that luxury. Spam saw the man reach across the counter and grab the clerk by the lapels of his coat. He then slapped the clerk and shoved him hard against the back wall behind the counter. The clerk collapsed to the floor out of Spam's sight. Spam saw the man go around the counter and begin kicking the clerk who was prostrate on the floor. Spam determined he could not wait any longer. He had to do something; and, the only thing he knew to do was to leave his car and rush into the pawn shop.

         Spam threw the front door open and drew his .45 cal handgun from his shoulder holster.

         "OK, dirt-bag! Back off!" Spam shouted, leveling his gun at the man's chest.

         Dave's car screeched to a stop next to the curb, with a squad car close behind it. However, even as Dave got out of the car, the man was swinging his gun towards Spam.

         "Drop it!" Spam yelled.

         The guy had no intention of dropping anything. What he did do was squeeze the trigger. The shot streaked wildly into the storefront window, shattering it. Spam did not wait for him to squeeze off another shot. He pulled his trigger in rapid succession and three shots rang out. Each shot climbed progressively up the man's chest, with the last shot ripping through his throat. The man propelled backward over the prostrate clerk behind the counter. It was over in a matter of seconds. The clerk was severely hurt and moaning in pain; but, he was alive.

         "Damn, Spam! Why didn't you wait for me?" Dave called out. "You OK?"

         "I couldn't wait, Dave. That big guy was kicking the crap out of the clerk. If I hadn't stopped him, he'd of killed they guy."

         Dave looked at his old friend and grimaced. "You did what you had to do, Spam. Give me your gun. I saw it happen and will write the report. You'll get a little grief from the paper-pushers downtown; but, I'll cover for you. Just go home and stay there. I'll handle things from here."

         Spam turned and headed for his car.

         "Spam," Dave called out to his old friend.

         Spam turned to face him.

         "You sure you're OK?" Dave asked.

         "Yeah, Dave, I'm OK...or I soon will be. Let me know what you need from me to clean this mess up?"

         Spam walked to his car and left Dave to handle the scene. Spam had done this before. All it would take for him to be OK was a moment to regroup; and, he'd do that at Hannity's.

**************

         Spam sat at one of the tables and nursed his first drink of the evening. At the rate he was going, it appeared it would be his first and last drink tonight. Deep in thought, he did not hear Cassidy walk up beside him. She held a drink in her hand.

         “Jocko said that I could have this if you didn’t want it?” She smiled at him and continued. “You want some company?”

         Spam nodded to the chair across the table and replied, “Certain company is always welcome. I’m just not sure I have much to say right now.”

         “That’s OK, I don’t mind just sitting here.” She sat across from him and folded her hands together on top of the table. “I might even take a sip or two of this drink.”

         He looked her full in the eye and slowly asked, “Cass, you sure you want to get you and Jerry mixed up with a guy who gets shot at and who kills people?”

         “I’m not sure, Spam. I suppose it depends on the guy. I mean, its not like you get up in the morning looking for someone to shoot. There are some bad people out there. Someone’s gotta keep them from hurting the good people. That clerk would have died if you hadn’t been there to stop that man. I’m thinking you might be a handy guy to have around. But, I’m still thinking about it.”

         Spam smiled. “I see you’ve been talking to Dave. He told you what happened?”

         She nodded. “Yeah, he told me what happened. He also told me everything’s OK. There’ll be no charges. The Clerk told them the guy was threatening to kill him. It seems he pawned a wedding ring and wanted it back. Appears like his life has been deteriorating ever since his wife took their kids and walked. Dave figures he was getting even with you. Blames you for ruining his life. He didn’t seem to think his actions had anything to do with it. The guy was just a time-bomb waiting to explode.”

         Spam nodded and said, “Yeah, I’ve seen that before. I just happen to be the unlucky stiff to push his button. Thanks, Cass.”

         Cassidy shrugged, “Hey, what’s a girl Friday to do, if not give her boss some good news every now and then? But, that’s not all.”

         “Oh,yeah?” He inquired, “What else you got?”

         “Well, Jocko tells me Gerry’s gonna be playing again this coming Saturday. I thought, you might want to take me to see him.”

         “You mean, like on a date?” Spam smiled.

         “Yeah, like on a date.” Cassidy nodded and reached out and placed her hand in his, “Like on a date.”