The Shadow

Dear Reader,

As can be imagined I have, (for the benefit of us both) spent a great deal of my time engaged in the contemplation and study of fear, as well as its more seductive cousins dread and terror. I will not deny the very tangible pleasure I receive from inspiring fear in others through my writings, but believe me it is not for my own gratification that I do this. To be candid though, upon further reflection there really is something quite exquisite about terror. This is especially true when it belongs to someone else. Much like a fine vintage, when reaped properly, terror can offer infinitely subtle varieties of flavor. All however are intoxicating, laced with the delectable hints of wantonness. Much different from shock or surprise, the true beauty of terror lies in its longevity. Take for example those individuals who live with a crippling, panic inducing fear every day of their lives. What makes them even more appealing is that more often than not these fears are spawned from everyday objects one would find in any home or on any street. One has not truly lived until you’ve witnessed one of these people gripped in a paralyzing almost orgasmic tremor brought on by an innocuous item. One such person is my dear friend Madeline.

Maddie was a perfectly charming woman, short of stature, honey haired, and deliciously curvaceous. She had lovely bespectacled blue eyes and a bewitching smile. She was also held in the loving embrace of a most delectable fear of shadows. Her every waking moment was tainted with the fear of, or the avoidance of shadows. To that end she lived in a supremely overcast part of Normandy where strong sunshine was only a concern about 30 days out of any calendar year. When walking into town Maddie did her best to avoid walking through the shadows she came across. This most unorthodox mode of travel made her the butt of many cruel jokes. The children of the town would take particular care in devising new and inventive methods of pestering, frightening, and generally tormenting her. Normally she would regard these pranks as harmless shenanigans. Just like when some of the boys from the village would try to catch peaks of her while she was undressed. Since the passing of her husband last winter the children’s antics lost what little charm they may have once possessed. She often wondered if the tricks had escalated in cruelty or if she simply lost her tolerance of them. Lately the old house she lived in had become insufferably lonely. Her only company was the little white cat that she took in from the cold two winters ago.

If the children of the village found it humorous to simply jest with Maddie, the cruelty of the adults was much more subtle and infinitely more refined. Many a person whispered in speculation as to why Maddie was never to be seen in church. It was thought that perhaps she was raised a heathen. Select few even went as so far to say that she was a witch and that the little cat was her familiar. It was never spoken aloud but many ruminated on the possibility that Maddie had murdered her husband via some vile sorcery in order to inherit his money and the house, both of which she now possessed. In spite of this the only person that was truly kind to her was the village priest Father Vincent. He was convinced that Maddie was haunted by some deep-seated vexation that went far beyond her simply being easily frightened. He could not coax the dark secret from her on his visits to the old house, but he felt positive that one day she would come to worship with the others in the village. In spite of her absence from church she was still a soul in need and deserved his ministrations.

What he could not conceive is what an absolute nightmare it would be for Maddie to have to sit for any length of time in church. Just the thought of the different dancing candle flames giving off their undulating shadows was enough to give her bodily shivers. In church there were shadows that would flicker, creep, or (as she was sure they would) reach out for her. There were other equally ordinary circumstances that for Maddie did nothing but induce absolute terror. Thunderstorms were particularly distressing to her. Not for the booming cacophony of the thunder, or the ferocity of the wind, but rather because for every instant the lightning would flash the house would be illuminated and for that moment her home would be infested with shadows. The silhouette of which, to Maddie’s eyes lingered far longer than the lightning that spawned them. As dreadful as this was for her, she had begun to notice an even more disquieting change in her surroundings.

Now of course it could just be a trick of the light, or her own increasing anxiety, but she could swear that she saw one of the shadows in her house move of its own accord. But surely it did not. It was one thing to have to live her whole life literally being afraid of her own shadow, but to think that one of these things have actually moved of its own free will, that was something else. Only a mad person could have such a ridiculous delusion. All the same, she could swear that she saw that shadow move. It seemed to slither across the floor like a black puddle of mercury. But no, that was just a wild fantasy brought on by her mind playing tricks on her. Shadows could not move by themselves.

On one of his regular visits out to Maddie’s house, Father Vincent brought with him an old volume of humorous stories that he came across while cataloging the church library. He was sure that this, along with a nice friendly visit would be just the thing to lift her spirits. When he arrived at the old house Maddie greeted Vincent warmly but seemed to be somehow preoccupied. Upon entering, the priest observed that the house had not been dusted in quite some time. Normally the nervous widow kept a much more orderly household. Maddie brought her friend into the parlor. She served tea with biscuits and did her best to give the appearance of normalcy. Vincent noticed that as he made conversation Maddie’s eyes would dart back and forth as if she was expecting some dreadful thing to spring forth upon them. They made small talk about this thing or that, but the priest could tell that her mind was definitely elsewhere. He was in the middle of one of his better seminary stories when Maddie’s eyes bulged and her breath seemed to catch her throat. Sweat burst out of every pore in her skin. There was a shadow behind the priest’s head. It slithered slowly toward him. It was moving. She wasn’t crazy. Her heart was racing. It was getting closer. In another moment it would be on him.

“Look out!” She shrieked. The priest jumped as the little cat landed in his lap.

“Well hello Neve.” He smiled widely as the affectionate feline stretched and purred under his gentle patting.

“Don’t fret so Maddie,” Vincent chided, “this little dear won’t be any trouble.” The cat purred its agreement as it curled up and made itself at home in the clergyman’s lap. The rest of the visit was uneventful and after dislodging Neve from her place he said his goodbyes. Vincent left his friend the book so that it might bring her at least one or two smiles when reading it. When Maddie returned to the parlor Neve looked up expectantly in the hope that her owner would take up the petting duties abandoned by the visitor. It was not to be however, as Maddie simply shook her head and murmured reproachfully to her self for being foolish, not to mention for embarrassing herself in front of the kindly young priest. She considered a nice walk in the fresh air to clear her head, but it looked a bit more sunny than usual outside, so she thought it best not to tempt fate. Strong sunshine meant lots of shadows to avoid. Instead she picked up the book left by Vincent and went upstairs to take a bath.

She stood after undressing, for a moment before the looking glass and admired herself. She had a form that most men would find very pleasing and enjoyable to caress but she knew that as long as the people in the town thought and did those awful things to her no one but the priest would ever come calling. Over and over she tried to remind herself that shadows were harmless. She even read a book written by the English scientist Newton. This Newton wrote an entire treatise on light and its various properties. So she knew that a shadow was simply what the eye perceived due to an absence of light and that this absence of light was caused by a solid opaque object. And yet in spite of all of her study and her knowledge about what shadows were she was still overcome with the completely paralyzing and traumatic sense of fear because of them. Every time she saw one close to her or heaven forbid was forced to walk through one it was always the same thing. It was not a matter of will or endurance. For whatever reason this went beyond conscious thought, much like a reflex. Perhaps she could stave it off for a while, like when her husband used to tickle her in the most devilish fashion, but then like now she would eventually lose control. Only instead of the times with her husband where it was uncontrollable laughter that would erupt out of her, with shadows she was awash in an unshakable sense of absolute terror.

Thinking of her husband was one of the few things that brought a smile to her face. It was not just the memories of his devious fingers probing her sensitive spots, but also of the warmth and kindness he always showed her. Only he had taken pity on her and through his success in dry goods had managed to build a place for her that was relatively devoid of shadows. At great expense he procured the glass tables and desks from Paris. He purchased leaded crystal oil lamps from Venice that produced so subtle a light that shadows were almost nonexistent. He also found the heavy velvet draperies in London that kept the sunlight out. Any visitors to the house simply thought that this unusual décor was due to her husband’s strange taste or his desire to have a unique appearance to his home. He never once let on that the very design and location of the house was all for Maddie’s comfort. While this did help abate her anxiety she was still terribly lonely. She loved her little cat, but Neve was no substitute for male companionship. She had not known a man’s touch since the passing of her husband and had found herself missing it more intensely as of late. Slowly she lowered herself into the bath water and let its soothing warmth soak into her supple skin. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she felt her angst steadily melt away. It was only once she was in a nice warm bath that she felt truly relaxed.

Maddie opened her eyes and realized that she must have drifted off for some time. The sky was tinted the bright orange of sunset. She glanced toward the bathroom door and almost urinated in the tepid bathwater. At the far end of the room, slowly and deliberately, a shadow slithered across the floor. She remembered seeing tiny amorphous organisms under a microscope once. Their locomotive power was derived from extending a part of themselves forward and sliding after it. This was how the shadow moved across the floor. Maddie held absolutely still as she was sure that it had not noticed her. Over a few seconds that to her seemed like hours the shadow crept under the door and disappeared. For the next half hour she shivered in the cooling water.

So it was true. There could be no doubt. That shadow was alive. Worse still it was alive and in the house with her. She rose unsteadily from her bath and quickly dried herself. Maddie donned her robe (and nothing else) and stealthily crept to her bedroom looking this way and that thinking the vile creature would spring out at her at any moment. How long had it dwelled in the house watching her? Could it watch? It certainly moved with a self-determined motion, but that was a far cry from intelligence of even the basest level. She quickly snatched the crucifix from above her bed. She held the holy symbol up before her, and carried out a thorough but futile search in the darkening house. She knew deep down that in all probability she would never be able to see the creature in the darkened house without some other light source. Yet if she illuminated any chamber it would be instantly rife with a host of other shadows. After a few minutes of contemplation Maddie decided that at least the new bits of gloom could not move, and were therefore safer. Besides, she had to do something.

Maddie hurriedly grabbed her candelabra from a shelf in the upstairs hall. She then held her breath, steeled up her courage and lit it. The soft glow from the tapers spread through the hall. She shuttered as her table and pitcher at the top of the stairs cast an inky shadow perilously close to where she had to walk. With much trepidation she tiptoed her way towards the staircase. Her breath was coming much faster now as she came within a single trembling step of the shadow. She bit her bottom lip and scampered past the dark spot in the hallway and onto the stairs. What dearest Maddie did not see was the ebony clawed hand and that reached out of the shadow and barely missed grasping her ankle. She carried the candelabra down the stairs and crept slowly and steadily all the while not seeing the malevolent wraith following close behind in her shadow-laden footsteps. Maddie heard a hissing sound behind her and turned quickly around but the onyx hued creature shrank down into one of the ordinary shadows cast on the stairs.

The frightened woman padded into the downstairs hallway, and was heading toward the parlor when she felt her blood turned to ice in her veins. She caught sight of the creature in the hallway mirror. It stood taller than her husband and looked as though it might have been a shadow cast by a gargoyle of some sort. The beast had long ebony spines running vertically along either side of its back, swept back horns on its head, and every appendage was clawed. It looked to be of muscular build, and had a gleeful mocking smile on its face. The only part of the wraith that was not forged of total darkness was its eyes. The eyes glittered like fiery blue opals in stark contrast to the rest of its form. It took a desperate effort to keep from crying out, but Maddie (once again biting her bottom lip) gave the appearance that she was searching the corridor while continuing to steal covert glances toward the mirror. She could feel her heart threatening to leap forth from her chest as every muscle tightened, driven by an all-consuming impulse to flee the hideous living shadow in the looking glass. An overwhelming wave of revulsion washed over Maddie as she felt the wispy touch of the shadow’s fingers on her shoulder. With every fiber of her being she wanted to scream, but before she even realized what she was doing, she whirled and thrust the crucifix in the creatures face! A sickly raspy chuckle echoed through the hall. The wraith’s luminescent eyes sparkled in the darkness as the low rattling laughter froze Maddie where she stood. With blurring speed the shadow snatched the crucifix from Maddie’s grasp and crushed it into a small metal ball. The specter then rasped a breathy snicker, dropped the mangled cross at it’s victim’s feet and smiled at her. Maddie swiped at the creature’s face with her candelabra. The monster unleashed a piercing scream and with a gentle hissing sound, the beast sunk into a shadow on the floor and disappeared.

The breath was sawing in and out of Maddie’s lungs as she ran into the parlor. After she slid the candelabra onto the table, the terrified widow slammed the door shut. She pressed her ear against the door and strained to hear any sound at all that would give away the shadow’s presence. All she heard from the other side of the door however was a soft meow. Oh no. The cat. Poor little Neve was out there with the wraith! She could only hope that the beast would not notice her in the hallway. Her conscience was tearing at her, screaming at her to help her cat, but Maddie stood frozen with fear. She almost bounded out of her skin when she heard the scratching sound at the door. She reached out with a trembling hand and grasped the knob. It was cold against her sweaty palm and squeaked loudly as she turned it. But wait! What if it was the creature at the door? She closed her eyes, turned the knob the rest of the way, and yanked the door open.

Maddie screamed as she saw body of one of the children from the village twitching at her feet. It was Alfred. He was one of the boys who were never cruel to her, but he did love to sneak peeks of her getting undressed. He had a thick black viscous fluid slowly issuing forth from his ears, nose and his still quivering mouth. A grimace of agony was etched on his tortured features. He must have snuck into the house to catch a glimpse of her this evening and fell into the grasp of the creature instead. Maddie was still shuddering as she stared in horror at the fate that she was sure would befall her. Panic caused her thoughts to come in rapid succession. Her mind seemed to be spinning out of control when a single idea struck her like a hammer. She was still alive. Why had the creature simply not dispatched her? And all at once she knew. It knew that it scared her, and it would not derive any amusement if it quickly got rid of her. The child offered it no pleasure, but she on the other hand had become its plaything. The wraith was no different from the dead child at her feet. It too wanted to use her for its own pleasure. How long had it watched her, like a fish in an aquarium, before it finally decided to begin tormenting her?

She cursed herself for being a fool. How much time had she wasted literally being afraid of her own shadow? How would she explain this to the boy’s family? What would she do with the body? It was not very respectful, but perhaps she would have to drop it down one of the wells outside of town. Maddie gasped when she looked down and saw the black ooze seem to grow and cover the boy’s body. In mere moments the corpse had been completely dissolved and the black slime evaporated into murky wisps of ethereal smoke. Maddie then turned around only to be confronted by the opalescent eyes of the living shadow not one foot away from her. She screamed and lashed out at the creature, but before her fist even made contact the wraith had sunk into a dark spot on the floor and instantly reappeared out of the shadow cast by Maddie’s candelabra in the corner of the room. So that’s how it traveled so quickly, she thought to herself. The creature used other less lively shadows the same way a person would use a door. It took a menacing step closer toward her and smiled. It was showing off. It was revealing its otherworldly mode of travel in an effort to get her to despair.

She knew then that there could be no escape. No matter where she journeyed this creature could just pop out of any shadow and torment her. Maddie hung her head in grief, and saw that she was (and had been) actually standing in a shadow. Only this time something was very different. Given what was leering at her in the other room, this shadow seemed much less terrifying. She had no trouble breathing and found herself able to move and think with ever-increasing clarity. Nothing dreadful happened and she had been standing barefoot in the midst of the shadow. The shadow was actually touching her skin for over a minute and she was fine! With her head still hanging down Maddie began to laugh quietly to herself. She was no longer afraid and the absurdity of her fears finally dawned on her. A look of uneasy concern fell on the face of the wraith while uncontrolled laughter was bubbling out of Maddie louder and louder. She looked through newly formed tears of joy and could see the creature grimace and hiss. With the pained screech the wraith faded and finally disappeared. Maddie gave a wild whoop of joy. She figured it could no longer feed off of her fear and so it simply vanished. She ran through the house and threw the drapes open, letting the moonlight pour into her home. She grabbed her candles, went upstairs and threw open her husband’s safe. She brought the contents to her desk and feverishly went over all the records of her holdings. Yes, there was more than enough. She could sell this house and make a new life for herself. Where would she go? London? Vienna? Someplace. Any place. She could do whatever she wanted. She was finally free. This called for a celebration. She laughed to herself and produced a bottle of brandy from a cabinet in the bedroom. About a third of the way into it her thoughts began to linger on her husband. He loved her so. How proud of her he would have been. Perhaps she would be able to begin again. Her thoughts began to drift as the liquor began its work and Maddie slowly faded off into a relieved slumber.

The next morning, the sun’s rays were streaming through the window as Maddie slowly opened her eyes. She stretched and rose from her bed feeling rested and refreshed. Shadows were cast all throughout the room. Maddie danced and skipped through every single one laughing like a little schoolgirl. She had a slight headache (probably from the brandy) but she reveled in her first day of freedom from her fears. Maddie basked in the bright sunlight, flung off her robe and looked at herself in the mirror. She could not remember when she’d smiled so fully. Her face had no trace of worry at all. The smile widened even more when she noticed the shadows that the sunshine was casting on her face. She giggled to herself, but then found her breath immediately choked off by two ebony taloned hands emanating from the shadows on her face. The shadow creature was trying to strangle her. With desperate strength Maddie wrenched the fingers from around her throat. Suddenly she was overcome with a strange pulling sensation. She felt as though a layer of herself was being peeled away as the vile beast stepped out of her facial shadows and onto the bedroom floor. In the bright sunlight the wraith shone like newly polished onyx and wore the same malignant grin that she was all too familiar with. With a speed of movement that she did not think she was capable of, Maddie picked up the discarded brandy bottle and smashed it against the creature’s face. The shadow howled in pain and surprise as it dripped sizzling black ichor onto the floor. It stumbled away from Maddie and dissolved into one of the inert dark spots on the floor.

“I got you, you bastard.” Maddie whispered to herself as she clutched the stub of the broken bottle threateningly before her. She stared at the shadows on the floor, and could swear that she saw a pair of glittering eyes looking out at her from each one of them. She knew however that unless the fiend had any more parlor magic to exhibit it could emerge from only one. She began frantically going to the windows and drawing the drapes closed until only one remained open. She boldly marched into the middle of the room and waited. She could feel the sun wash over her back and see the shadow that she projected toward the far side of the room. She walked calmly toward the far wall until she saw a pair of opalescent eyes sparkling out at her from within her husband’s huge safe. Quick as a flash, Maddie slammed the safe’s heavy iron door shut and spun the combination dial. From within the safe an unearthly wail of torment rampaged through the room and seemed to batter Maddie from all sides. The safe actually shook slightly from side to side but the iron was solid and held firm against the creature’s struggles. After a few minutes, the beast’s shrieking calmed, and its attempts to escape lost their fervor. Once confined in a space of absolute darkness with no light to power it, the shadow’s strength melted away. A lack of other shadows also robbed it of any mode of egress from its iron tomb. It was trapped. Maddie walked up to the safe and listened. She could swear she heard a soft whimper inside, but was not about to open the safe to see if the creature truly lamented.

For the first time she could remember, Maddie walked into town that day smiling the whole way. She strolled through every shadow she could find and loved every second of it. The last I heard of dear Maddie was that she had indeed sold the house in Normandy, (along with all of the shadow reducing furniture), took her cat and settled in one of the sunniest southern colonies in America. I am told that she has since remarried and even had several children. And what of the safe? A few pieces of gold paid to the crew members on her ocean crossing was enough to ensure the safe’s timely delivery to the bottom of the ocean never to be seen again.



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