Anger is an Energy

We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.
-Mary Lamberton Becker (American Writer and Critic)

I am not an angry young man, anymore. Okay, so I'm a woman, but what I mean to say is that I can no longer blame my passionate zeal for a subject on . . . passionate zeal. I have become an angry old lady.

I look at Mary Lamberton Becker's quote and think it apt. As far as I can remember, I have always been angry. Whether I was an angry toddler, demanding attention and toys; a teen with a 'nobody understands me!' attitude; a mum with a tired and frazzled outlook due to late night feeds, or as the desperate housewife I have now turned into. Whatever the age and circumstance, I have always been angry.

There has been a two part television series on the BBC recently, which has explored anger in the UK. It posed a question which I have mulled over before: are we become angrier as a nation, or is it more individual, and just a symptom of getting older?

So, what is anger? Anger is a very necessary emotion. It is a part of our human/animal responses to situations of a threatening nature, or feelings of unfairness, or being ignored, or being the object of bullying, or dishonesty. Adrenalin is created when we are placed in a stressful environment and we reach a 'fight or flight' decision. Without anger, directed appropriately, we would find ourselves facing dangerous situations with only logic as a tool to react with.

A look at the latest figures from the Office of National Statistics, shows an increase in violent crimes. I thought I would look at my hometown's figures. There are 219,518 people in my town. Most recent Crime figures (2007-8) include:
Violence against the person, 3,537 cases.
Wounding or other act endangering life, 165 cases.
Other wounding, 1,672 cases.
Common assault, 601 cases.
Harassment, 889 cases.

Now, I'm not saying they are all anger based cases, but most violence is an extension of anger, whether the fuel to that fire is alcohol, revenge attack, domestic etc. But it could also be argued that we report more as a nation, that we are a growing nation, and that statistics themselves have become better at being collected with the advent of the internet.

Either way, my journey with anger is a far more personal one. I used to use it to my advantage: picket lines, protest marches, lyrics in a rock band. They were all healthy outlets for outrage, but that changed. My boundaries went fuzzy, and with age came a sense of 'being right' and being impotent to do anything about it.

Ultimately, anger is about control, and I have been trying to control things that are out of mine. It all culminated with a trip to Blackpool Illuminations (an event in the North of England seaside town, which has over a mile of illustrated scenes and lights). Cars move slowly along the sea front to see the display. The man in the car in front of me threw litter out of the window. I stopped my car. I picked up the litter. I shoved it back through his window.

"Who are you -- the litter police?"

No. I'm just a short, fat, middle-aged woman, with a car containing my precious children and my ninety-two-year-old grandmother. Anything could have happened. I was lucky that all he, and his passengers, did was to shout obscenities.

It was time to ask for help. It was time to change. With that in mind I had to decide the kind of person I wanted to be, and it wasn't who I was. It's a slow journey but one which I'm taking baby steps in the right direction.

Taking Mary Lamberton Becker's quote to heart, I can say that I value anger. It is not a 'bad' emotion. That energy, that power, can be used for good. It just has to be directed appropriately. Looking back to how I used my anger in the past -- as a creative tool; as a force for change -- I am learning to do so again. In doing so, as I grow older, it is neither for better nor worse, but more like myself.

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/headroom/newsandevents/programmes/losingit.shtml

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