Review Fools - Sample Reviews

dmerrysilver suggested I serve up a sample of past offerings from the contest. I thought that right clever! Enjoy!

Review Fools 2009

review of "Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor

Bon jour, it is I, Hercule Poirot, whom you 'ave commissioned to review your case. I am retired now, you see, growing marrows in my garden. But the marrow, he refuses to grow straight. I cannot abide such disorder and coupled with the refusal of the tomato to remain round, it has forced me to - how you say - return to crime. Ah, non, non. It is not meant to be funnee!

Ah, ma foi, but zis is vairy interesting ... I too am fond of the condiments sucre, or le bonbon. It amazed me to learn that it can be disastrous; oh, le docteur he will pull ze tall face and make ze tomblike pronouncements, but in real life, non.

Exclaim What strikes me first: Bien, Tres bien. You create a picture that is vivid, from your details one can build up the idee of the things that led up to the crime. Tell me story madame, in your own words.

Check5 Ze Suspects:
We must make a list so ... It is not clear what has happened to your bon mari, your good husband. That is why one has the seven year period of waiting for a missing person to be declared dead. So often will a man lie perdu, perhaps the mistress? But I distress you, please forgive me. Your mere, perhaps she is not so forgetful as she seems, eh? Or your child, la petite, she must be out of your sight as you are kept busy? Stir not yourself, madame, I will arrange the affairs neatly, without worry.

Note their motives, like so ... Oh, so often it is love, mother love, forbidden love, young love, unrequited love, love of money, love of sweets. Some form or the other for sure.

Reading Ze Method: Above all, we must have method. Ah, it is sad, but madame, you have allowed the grief for one to blur the relationships with many more. If you had but kept the more tracks. La petite, she too lost ce bon papa, she needed her maman. Now she is lost in so many ways, but she cries out to you, save the ones who ask for help madame, not banana-nosed neighbours who put their nez in your affaires.


Idea Ze Observations: My good friend Hastings he had not the little grey cells that allow one to theenk. He was ... how you say .. a pony with only one treek? He saw, but did not observe. I do and I have zis to say: better late than never madame, better at any time than not at all. Sometimes one cannot see things which are as plain as the face upon which is the nose. Put on the glasses of the coeur, and see the world for the pleasant place it is. The troubles they come to all, but a light heart makes nothing of much work.




If you are not satisfied with my case study, I am willing to forgo the fees, but if you are the okay with eet, please send it me c/o "Review Fools" , where I am dining tonight. You may also post your opinion of my deductions there, that will show M'sieur 'Olmes who ze greatest detective of all is.

by Hercule Poirot aka Just an Ordinary Jyo

review of "Review Fools" 

** #1543729 Not An Image **

I am the Bandit and here to review
A piece you allowed us to view
Please take what I say with a grain of salt
For it's not meant to be an assault

THE REVIEW:
Such fun and games do abound
Craziness is all around
A perfect forum for those to play
A fun little game on a special day
No grammar or spelling errors were found
And I searched from sky to ground
Well laid out with a nice display
And that is all I have to say

Even though this is an anonymous review
You may reply to find out who
The fool behind this madness may be
Could it be a she or he?
Come to "Review Fools"  and find out
What this craziness is all about!

review of "Review Fools" 
Greetings, Kimchi.

This is Athena here, goddess of wisdom, arts and crafts, and training. Please note that I do not claim to be a master of the written art, though I do enjoy reading it and offering my divine wisdom to any who will listen. See my half-brother Apollo for your poetry, or feel free to invoke one of the nine muses at any time.

I admire your well thought out organization for this planned battle of the reviewers. The stakes are indeed high, and the prize to be one will be coveted by all. This is truly a fight of brains, as these valiant, reading warriors will need stamina to write so many reviews, and good ones too! I am diligently concocting my war strategy. I noticed no flaws in the presentation and am impressed with the interest you seem to have already garnered. My commendation goes out to you.

Sincerely,
Athena (referred to by the Romans as Minerva)

Visit Athens today for a one of a kind traveling experience!
Please note that any offenders of Athena are subject to the wrath of Zeus, which will most likely include death by thunderbolt or eternal torment administered by an eagle. Athena is also prone to enact punishment including, but not limited to death by sword or eternal hanging and weaving.

Review Ghouls 2008

review of "Celebrate the Earth"   by iKïyå§ama-R.I.P Whitney H.

for

ID: 1405565   (Rated: E) Review Fools  Dress up and make a fool of yourself while reviewing-sign ups soon. by Kimchi

My dear, my dear, I have tears in my eyes and it's not from cutting onions either.

This forum is a feast for all the senses - the beautiful look, the song, the feel of the whole thing - of course the flavour of the various words on the page, and the aroma of caring and sharing.

But most important, it reaches out to one's "Common" sense, preserve the earth, it's the only home we have.

Thank you for thinking this up, for getting all the chefs to contribute an ingredient or two, and cooking up a true gourmet repast for the heart, mind and soul.

Yours truly,
Crazy Chef.

aka Smiling Sonali WDC Power #1!

review of "Possession"   by W.D.Wilcox © ¿ Φ

God has chosen me to review you.

Oh Bill, you are such a ge ius. I so admire your brillia ce! The way you describe the i side of an asylum, it's just so true. I know. I was there after what happe ed in De ver. They accused me of killi g all these babies, but I k ew I was judged by a higher justice than ma 's. Everybody was crazy in there. Crazy a d crimi al cookadoodie brats.

Never would I presume that someo e like me could co tribute somethi g to your writi g, I could never equal your brillia ce, but I must tell you I did 't like the e di g of the story. To y is a hero with true nobility, goi g up there to save his frie d when all the dirty birdies were leavi g the buildi g; he ca 't e d the way he did. The story simply is 't fi ished, u til God's will is acted upon.

Here's what you'll do. You'll sit down at this table and write the sequel. Stop screami g. Never mi d the pain in your feet, Annie is getti g you some Novril, and you are goi g to write the sequel to the story. To y must save his family. I'll drive i to town a d get some paper. Then you can do what you can do best. Did Annie do good?


Annie Wilkes

Annie Wilkes doesn't have a phone, let alone internet. WdC will pass messages on if you use the reply form below the review.

aka: Anne Light

Review of "I'm Not Me Anymore"   by Karen

Ciao il mio amico,

My name is Henry Fitzroy and I’m here to give your piece a review. Now, please don’t be scared, I may have sharp teeth but they’re reserved for Ms. Nelson and Tony. I hope you find this review helpful, I’m taking part in the review ghouls challenge, my new writing friend.

I simply adored all of this piece, it seemed to call out to me through the darkness, I wonder why I couldn’t see it though? I could really relate to some of the issues you brought up in this piece, what with me being a creature of the night and all that, just to clarify something though, I know I still have my soul.

Your vocabulary usage is good; it’s varied and effective, and some of them roll off the tongue like a snake, ssssimply ssssomething to get my teeth into.

The only thing I actually spotted with my exceptionally sighted eyes was this, “memory’s” should this be plural memory instead of possessive?

Good progression of the story and thank-you for sharing this with the writing.com community. Please reply to this review, just go to the respond to this review section underneath this piece. I would really appreciate it.


Have yourself a good Halloween, don’t be too frightened by those of us that go bump in the night, we’re often not so bad once you see us in the light.

Well done and write on as they say around here. Enjoy the site.

Yours sincerely,

Henry Fitzroy

aka: unebassist

(review of "See No Evil"   by § Forsaken §


Spook! – I am Angry Mob!
This review is for –

ID: 1405565   (Rated: E) Review Fools  Dress up and make a fool of yourself while reviewing-sign ups soon. by Kimchi

This is some kinda difficult to write showing your
readers that one of the senses can't be used.

One thing I noticed, your font color is too glaring being in
red. You may choose other font color.

I am amazed at the start of your story but in the midway,
I am confused. Maybe my retention is too poor.
You described well the events leading to the main prompt.

The finale is not so carried out. You dropped early your story.
You could have add more like there's another person on that
building trying to help Sarah.

Anyway, I have an enjoyable read.

Have a wondrous Halloween season.

Angry Mob
aka: earlybird

Review of "Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor



The writer and narrator is brewing up a call drone of trouble with his anonymous words. My kinda guy! Shirley, they wheel come back to haunt him. Or will they?

“I’m right here, Joey,” she said.

You are adept at magic also! Ruth appears out of nowhere to soothe the deranged gunslinger. Or does she?

Although I am a psychic, I did not see the ending coming. Remand me to get that Chris Tall ball fixed.

I enjoined the suspense in your tail. Do re-ply if you'd like to no hoo eye yam.

Riding like the wind,
Sal

Kona kona kona kona kona come here cuppa Joe
you come and go
you come and go
Reviewing would be easy if I only had caffeine
in my bloodstream
in my bloodstream

aka: Kimchi

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