Silent Screams

You think you have luck on your side when your dreams come true, you think that nothing could ever happen to you, well it can and I guarantee that after hearing what happened to me, you will think twice before you think that you are the luckiest person there is. Well I was in ninth grade, a measly little freshman. I had all of my goals set out, my whole life planned, well except the perfect guy. I was just waiting for him to drop out of the sky and immediately he would fall in love with me (hey, remember I was a FRESHMAN) Anyway one day it all came true, well he didn’t exactly fall out of the sky. It was David Kalishi, pretty much the most popular junior in school. I don’t know exactly how he got interested in me, but I wasn’t going to question him about it. Well being the superficial girl that I was I could barley answer him when he asked me to prom. I was in awe. Of course I said yes. (Oh come on, you know you would have.) So it was set, I was going to the Senior-Junior prom. The night of the prom was amazing. I felt like Cinderella. Well that was before we arrived to the after party. David got way to crazy. I had fun gossiping with seniors and all of the guys. David pulled me into a room claming that he wanted to ‘talk’ to me. When he started to make moves I just kind of pushed him away and told him it wasn’t the right place or the right time for this. He was stronger then I thought. He pushed me onto the bed. I remember shouting for him to stop. He heard me, but didn’t care. “What are you doing? Get off of me!” I cried. As I felt him tugging on my panties, I started to scream at the top of my lungs. Slapping me he smiled and laughed. He looked like a savage beast. I closed my eyes and wept softly as I felt him go inside of me. His eyes scared me. It was as if he loved my fear, he hungered for it, it indulged it, and he wanted me to scream. He hit me more and more once I shut up, realizing, that there was nothing I could do to help myself. After he was done using me he got up, zipped up his pants, and smiled. He put his index finger to his lips and laughed. Yea, I could really see how this was all so funny. About a half and hour after he left I did. I ran all the way home crying. The minute I walked in my mother was hugging me while I gushed about what happened. I felt like this was my entire fault, like somehow I provoked him to do such a horrid thing to me. My mother called the police crying. Everything happened in a blur. The next thing I remember is Monday, I could tell everyone at school knew what happened, but for an odd reason everyone was against ME. The next month was harder then ever. The police couldn’t prove I’d been raped. David had said that we’ve had sex more then once, that I just wanted attention. No one believed me, no one even cared to hear what i had to say. The next couple of months i remembered the saying 'If you hit rock bottom, then all you can do is go up from there.' I guess the saying came to some happy go lucky cheerleader. I went past rock bottom, i was falling and i kept falling for a long time. Everyday David would pass me in the hall between classes just to taunt me, like he wanted me to go insane. I tried to stay strong, but i am not freaking superman, oh and who ever said 'sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words can never hurt me.' Well that person was full of shit too. I can't even count all of the times i tried to commit suicide. My parents sent me to theripists, they all said that i wanted attencion and that they shouldn't spoil me so much. Soon, to help sothe my pain i started cutting myself. Little cuts at first, then they got bigger. Even the people at school whom were considered 'freaks' didn't want to talk to me. I really was a freak. One day into my Junior year a girl(a freshman) came up to me. "Are you the girl that said David Kalishi raped you?" By that time the hole thing was over, and David didn't tormant me anymore. "Please get the hell away." I didn't want to be teased by some freshman. "He raped me to, i'm pregnat." Why this girl came to me i couldn't figure out. Why was everything getting dug back out, i couldn't tell you. I started to cry, i couldn't tell you why i did, maybe out of pity for that girl, maybe because of relief, and maybe because i knew that deep down, everyone would figure out what REALLY happened. Now i'm a senoir and let me tell you, David was sent away. I can live in peace, but i must warn you that this is no happy ending. I will never completly heal from what happened to me, i will never be able to trust a single person in my life again, but my life will go on, and now, i can LIVE.