A FISH STORY

Roland Carpenter awoke and slowly rose to a sitting position on the edge of his bed. Having stayed up late last night to work on his current project, he had gotten only a few hours sleep and felt groggy. As he rubbed his eyes with his fists, his memory was still playing remnants of last night's work in his head. He was writing an encyclopedia of footnotes. When finished, this work would consist of several volumes. Every footnote from every book in the Branch Creek library would be included. Then, if one wished to read only the footnotes from any book, or to refer to these footnotes for research purposes, it would not be necessary to refer to the book itself. All the required information would be available in Roland's encyclopedia.

He realized, of course, that it would be necessary to create an annual update to include all the new books which came into the library each year. At times, he had considered expanding his project to include books in other libraries, but realized that he would have to enlist the assistance of others if this was to be accomplished.

Roland stood and slowly walked to the front door of his rambling ranch-style house. He opened the door just wide enough to peer outside and note the faintest hint of early morning gray on the Eastern horizon. Closing the door, he turned and walked back to his closet, where he selected some nondescript gray clothes for the day. What Roland had to do this morning needed to be finished before the curious eyes of the townspeople had discovered the new day, and today's work had nothing to do with his encyclopedia.

It had all begun on a July morning several weeks ago when Roland had awakened to find that his air conditioner had quit running during the night. Realizing that it would probably be two days before he could get a repairman out to the house at this time of year, Roland decided he would borrow a two-day cold air supply from his friend Reggie Baker. Roland had not gotten any real physical exercise in some time, and thought the two-mile walk to Reggie's place would do him good. At the last second, Roland had decided to take Florida, his pet goldfish, on the walk with him. So he reached into the bowl, grabbed Florida, and placed him (or maybe her - he didn't know which) on a leash. After they had gone about a mile, they met Fred Gaston, who was out walking his pit bull, Murder.

Suddenly, while Roland and Fred were busy discussing the latest news (frogs were disappearing from the area in massive numbers), Florida leaped up and apparently without provocation, attacked Murder. It took several seconds for Roland and Fred to react and separate the animals. When they did, Murder fell to the ground and lay on his side. Blood oozed from his neck, and it was obvious that Murder had seen his last day.

Roland had immediately offered to replace Murder, but Fred had simply stared in disbelief at his dead dog before turning to walk away without saying another word. Fred had not spoken to Roland since. Roland never made it to Reggie's that day, and suffered in his house in the summer heat until the air conditioner repairman arrived three days later.

Then one morning a week or so later, Roland had again decided to take Florida out for a morning walk. He felt certain that the incident with the pit bull had been an aberration on Florida's part and was not likely to be repeated.

That morning, they had encountered Ruth Beasley, an elderly lady with whom Roland enjoyed spending time because they shared similar interests. Ruth called herself an amateur linguist. She studied the probabilities of certain words being used after certain other words in the speech of common people. For example, she noted that there was a very high probability of the word "you" following the word "thank." However, following the word "ball," one might anticipate either the word "game" or the word "park." She had encountered some opposition from those who argued that "ballgame" and "ballpark" were in fact entire words in themselves, and splitting them into two words each was an artificial attempt to prove her thesis. With a sneer, she insisted that such people were just splitting hairs, and noted that the probability of the word "hairs" following the word "splitting" was greater than 80% in most areas of the country. In areas where the timber industry is predominant, however, the word "logs" is more likely to follow the word "splitting."

As usual, Ruth had her pet parrot, Verbose, sitting on her shoulder the morning Roland and Florida met her during their walk. Shortly after Roland and Ruth had begun exchanging morning pleasantries, Florida had leaped from the ground and attached Verbose. The parrot was caught entirely by surprise and left speechless. Verbose sat motionless for a moment before toppling backwards off Ruth's shoulder and hitting the ground like a thud missile. Verbose was dead.

This second incident involving Florida had enraged the townspeople, who had as a group filed a petition with the Branch Creek Animal Control Board requesting that Florida be legally declared a vicious animal and be put to death. That was why Roland had risen early this morning. He was scheduled to face the Animal Control Board at 10:00A.M., and had been told to have Florida with him, but under secure control. Roland knew what awaited. The idea that Florida would have to be destroyed was unthinkable, but he knew the townspeople would be satisfied with nothing less.

So Roland was preparing to do what must be done this morning. He reached into Florida's bowl and pulled him (or her) out, put the goldfish on a short leash and put the leash and Florida in his pocket. He drove several miles to a heavily wooded area where he was sure he would not be seen, then parked his truck and walked a few hundred yards through the woods to the edge of a small lake. He took Florida out of his pocket and unhooked the leash. For one brief moment, Roland held Florida in his open palm, wondering how you tell a goldfish goodbye.

He then tossed Florida high into the air, and stepped back and watched as Florida reached the highest point of the throw. Florida seemed to be in a momentary state of suspended animation before abruptly taking off in flight. The day was much lighter now as a brilliant morning Sun had cleared the horizon. Shielding his eyes to watch Florida in flight, Roland noticed a rainbow had appeared and Florida was headed directly for it. Roland now felt a great sense of relief sweep over him. He had the satisfaction that he had freed a creature whose dreams must have been to spend life with others of his (or her) kind, and he had been given a celestial sign. He knew that Florida would find the pot of goldfish at the end of the rainbow.