The Forgery

                                                     THE FORGERY
         
         “It’s her.”

         “No it isn’t. How could it be her?”

         “It is her, I know it’s her.  I’m going over.”

         “Sit down! Don’t make a fool of yourself!”

         This conversation was going on between the two girls in the seat opposite me on the downtown local.  The next thing I knew one girl sat down beside me.  “I’m your biggest fan,” she said. 

         “Are you talking to me?” I asked

         She laughed,  “You are so FUNNY!  Did you hear how she said that, ’are you talking to me?’  I watch you all the time, I have your CD.”  She was digging in her purse.  “I want your autograph.”

         “Just who do you think I am?”

         She laughed again.  “You are so FUNNY!"  She held out an envelope and a pen. "Here. Please give me your autograph.”

         “I am serious, I am not a celebrity I have never been on TV, and I have no CD.  I’m a CPA from Staten Island.”

         This elicited more peals of laughter.  I was getting annoyed.

         The other girl came over.  “I told you it wasn’t her.”

         “It is so!  Please give me your autograph!”

         The other girl was looking at me as If I were some kind of imposter.

         “Come on, Kay, it isn’t her.”

         “It is!  I see her on Comedy Central all the time!”

         I tried again.  The next stop was mine.  “I’m not  -- “

         She was laughing again.  “Please!  Who will believe I met  Millie Gilbert unless I have your autograph?”

         We were at my stop.  I took her pen and wrote ‘Cheers, Millie Gilbert”  on her envelope and got off the train.

         She called after me, “Thank you!”

         I walked away shaking my head; I have no idea who Millie Gilbert is.

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