My Heaven, my death

Quiet.  Calm.  Peace.  The approaching storm had not yet begun.  Not even a glimpse.  No.  I was whole inside.  Change is unforgiving in my life.  If I could go back to that small piece of euphoria I would.  And that would be my heaven when I die.  Just that moment.  Everlasting…forever.  My death, my heaven.  If I had known it would end so soon…in the way it did…if I only had the slightest idea. 

We walked.  He didn’t know.  But it didn’t matter that moment, that exact frozen memory in time…I didn’t care.  Back then I had always wondered if he did …well…feel the way I did.  No one had ever made me laugh like him.  Laughter.  Bliss. 

The hammock on the hill.  Whether or not it was accurate, the point is that it was how I will remember it that way.  Always.  So we continued.  Up and up we climbed.  To our place.  To us.  He layed first.  I next.  And then…

Happiness.  Pure yet toxic.  Happiness.  Above all…love.  I had waited for this for my entire life.  And here it was.  He rested his head on my shoulder.  And time melted right then and there.  I closed my eyes.  And that was all that mattered.  Not caring of the change that was yet to come.  Not knowing.  Not yet mourning the death of us.  The pain the agony.

And so now.  I shall wait.  So I can go back.  Back.  Forever.  With him.  Heaven