Musings of a Broken Heart

How can I live, knowing I don't have your love?
I was a fool, and as most fools do,
made mistakes most foul. I feared you,
your strength, your love, the power you held
over me, so strong. If you left, I'd die,
so how could I let that happen? I was always
weaker than weak, lowest of love, and did
my heart's protection seek. No girl could replace you,
not for lack of trying. God no! How I tried to find
consolation elseplace, yet it did not exist. Jesus,
redeemer, is alpha and omega, so must you become omega.

Tears do not exist for me, for I am empty
I should drown in my crying, yet I am dry.
My life is gone from this world as so leaks
my heart's blood. it breaks in two, one half
turned to dust, one half to, with you, remain.
Without you, am I unwhole, unreal, unloved.
I blame you not, nor could I ever hurt you so
for my heart does not permit such blasphemy.

I feel nothing any longer, neither betrayed nor
loved by you, my dear. I deserve not your trust
nor can I ever expect it back. I was and am a wretch.
What have I left to live for? Nothing but hope,
nothing but dreams, naught but you.