The Adventures of Dick and Fifi, Pt IX

word count 637

    Smallshaft had used the last of the hydrogen to give the Penetrator sufficient angular momentum to leave Earth orbit.  The result unfortunately being that he and his crew of deviants were on a vector to nowhere.  He looked over as Captain LaRue slowly regained consciousness.  After their recent romp in his cabin Commander Dick Smallshaft dreaded what he knew was coming.

    Captain Fifi LaRue’s emerald green eyes fluttered open, “Oh Dickey that was just fantas… Why am I strapped into my acceleration couch?”

    “Listen Capt., do not call me Dickey.”

    “Gotcha big Dick, but why am I… oooh Dickey, you kinky little devil you.”  A sly smile crossed her red lips and her eyes suddenly became veiled, “I am used to doing the tying-up, but I’ll let you this time.”  Larue gave a suggestive wiggle and pouted at Smallshaft.

    Dick sighed, “Listen, when we’re on the bridge I am Commander Smallshaft is tha…”

    “Oh Commander Smallshaft you’re so forceful and big and strong and I am so helpless tied down here like this,” LaRue moaned in a breathy voice.

    “Captain, you will address me as Commander Smallshaft on the bridge, that is a direct order.”

    “Aren’t we going to play anymore Dickey?” LaRue whined.

    Smallshaft heaved a heavy sigh as his head sunk into his hands, “Listen, I am not going to te…. Ah screw-it…”

    “Yes Dickey, screw-it!  Screw-it!!”

    “Oh for God’s sake, can you take your mind off of sex for just a minute, please.”

    “Oh, um, sorry about that Commander I thought we were still, well that you were going to, ah, that I was…”

    “I have some good news and bad news Larue, the good news is that we aren’t in a decaying orbit.”

    Larue unstrapped herself from the acceleration couch, and slowly rose.  Her breasts floated enticingly in zero-gee.  “And the bad news is?”

    “We’re heading into the unknown at 0.3c.  New Orleans can’t mount a rescue mission.  We are on our own.”  Dick looked at LaRue, trying to gauge her reaction to their predicament.  He could almost hear the gears grinding into motion behind her eyes.

    “Well that doesn’t sound too good.  How are you going to get us back?  And speaking of mounting…..”  She looked at him with nothing but innocence radiating from her being.

    “I don’t know.  If you need more “mounting,” as you so delicately put it, Peeps ought to be coming around in cabin 69 any time now.  I am sure he would be happy to service you.”

    LaRue floated before him, her face slowly turning red, “That was mean spirited and uncalled for Commander.”  She quickly turned and expertly propelled herself from the room.

    Smallshaft watched her go and then looked at the control console, hoping to find an answer there.  “What the hell was that about?” he muttered to himself.

    Several seconds later Peeps was on the bridge.  “What is up with LaRue? She just went flying by me, about ran into me.  Would’ve enjoyed that actually,” the little man finished.

    Smallshaft looked at Dr. ‘Peeps’ Vatchmann, at least the voyeur had pulled his pants up.  “When you vented the hydrogen tank to stowaway you removed enough fuel to keep the Penetrator from inserting into a stable Earth orbit,”  He stopped and let Peeps absorb the news.  “There was enough however to kick us out of orbit, the problem being we are now accelerating into the unknown and Mission Control can do nothing for us.”

    “Well how and when are you going to get us back Commander?”

    Smallshaft looked up, which was relative, and counted to 10, “I don’t know Peeps, cabin 69 is yours for the remainder of the voyage or your life, whichever ends first, I suggest you clean it and remain there for several cycles, neither LaRue nor I want to see you.”

word count 637