Christmas In a Child's Eye

I’ll never forget the sleepless Christmas eves I lay in bed trying to wait for Ol’ Saint Nick. I could hear the reindeer bells on every blow of the wind, and would almost jump from under my warm quilt when a tree branch scraped the roof! Of course, here in Texas we never had snow, but I still believed in the magic of Santa’s sled. I also believed he’d get down the chimney we didn’t have too, because those gifts appeared every year somehow. But, this is not when the magic began.

Christmas magic began earlier in the year back then. In the fifties it was generally two days after Thanksgiving. On what we call black Friday now, most people stayed home and visited with family while all the big stores stayed closed and decorated for Christmas. Here in Fort Worth, there was Leonard Brothers, and Monnigs, Striplings, Cox’s, and Ellisons, Red Goose Shoes, and so many other stores downtown. They all had large window displays that had to be made up, and all had paper taped in the windows so no one could see until Saturday. It would certainly be terrible if someone else stole your store's window idea. The competition was great, as was the entire town’s eager anticipation to shop.

The City couldn’t be outdone either. Outside there were silver, red and green tinsel banners hung, and Christmas lights strung from corner to corner welcoming everyone to the city. When insurance was real, instead of an HMO (Human Misery Options) or a PPO (Pure Painful Oppressions,) and our doctors were paid instead of discounted. Times were simpler then, and more people cared about one another. Anyway, after our relaxing day on Friday, we all would get on the bus and take a ride downtown...

Saturday! We stepped off the bus, onto tinsel streets and newly decorated windows. We would walk up and down the sidewalks before all the stores opened and ‘window shop.’ Leonard Brothers had a giant window with the grandest animated Santa Claus and reindeer. He looked almost real, and his mouth moved as he talked to us on the street inviting us to Toy Town in the basement of the store. At Ellisons, there was a Santa dressed in a man’s suit tempting us with a waving arm and a winking eye. At Woolworth a barking dog dressed in a knitted sweater, looked up at a man and woman in holiday clothes. The windows were marvelous and alluring, and the best thing about them was, we would be in each of the stores before the day was over.

The first store we went in was Leonard Brothers. I’ll never forget this store and all the marvelous decorations they had throughout. There were aluminum Christmas trees everywhere, with spotlights and colored rotating lenses. And, there were tinsel garlands and tree lights strung about between store displays. The store sections I remember were Toy Land, Sporting Goods, and Music.

The Music department had its guitars draped in tinsel garlands, and the men working there would smile from ear to ear when you wanted to play one, and in sporting goods, the men were real friendly with the long guns, and would help granddaddy hold and feel the new weapons. But, the department I remember most was Toy Land… wow!

When you walked into Toy Land, you were surrounded by a decorated Christmas Wonderland, with a train that ran around the top of the twenty-foot walls. First you would go sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what you wanted for Christmas, then you would go ride the train, around and around with Toy Land down below on one side, and animated elves making toys on the other. Of course, we never looked down into toy land where parents were shopping, we were always interested in the small animated spelunkers singing and hammering while making toys. The angel hair snow around their workshops was so real, and the special toys they made, had us feeling like we were at the North Pole.

The Magic ran on and on throughout my young years, even when we placed our tree up and hung the lights at home. There was the blue and silver tin star Daddy always put on top of the tree, that shone brightly across the living room just as the tree lights. Our own angel hair tree skirt also simulated snow under the tree, and I was the one who got to set up Santa’s sleigh and reindeer underneath. It was all so beautiful. There were children at school that tried to tell me that Santa wasn’t real, but I knew different, because the magic was always at our house. Mother and Daddy never let it die. You could see it and feel it in their eyes and spirit each season and, you could feel it in our home. We knew the real Magic of Christmas was the baby Jesus, and we celebrated Him, but we didn’t let the other magic fall from the family traditions.

It happened the year I was seventeen. We buried granddaddy that year in October I think. Thanksgiving came around and we all had our celebration, but we didn’t go downtown on Saturday. Granddaddy wasn’t with us to go, so it didn’t seem proper. Nineteen-Sixty-Nine, I was helping my mother put up the tree and my little sister wanted to set up the Santa Claus and reindeer. I told her it was okay because I’d done it for years and it was time for someone else to learn how.

Mom asked me to put the star on the tree because Daddy wasn’t feeling well.

So I got into the Christmas box and began to look for it. I asked mom where the tree topper was when I couldn’t find it. She came in from the kitchen, picked up the tin star and handed it to me.

“It’s right here!” and shook her head, unbelieving that I hadn’t seen it.

I took the old star from her and looked at it, shocked. The blue and silver star was made of thick and thin foils, some of it crushed and missing some plating, with a few torn points. It was terribly ugly. Just last year this had been the most beautiful tree topper in the world. What happened to it? “Mom? Is this the star we’ve always had?”

“Yes. It’s the same star you’ve insisted on the last seventeen years.”

“I can’t believe it. It has aged so much this year.”

“No, it’s looked like that for a long time, son. I told you we needed a new one.”

I gently bent and reshaped the star as best as possible then reached up and gently placed it on the tree top. I worked a bulb inside of it so it would shine. It did look better then. Susan, my eleven-year-old sister, came into the room with Santa and his sleigh, but something was wrong. The sleigh was gold with a broken runner, Santa was twice as large as the sleigh, only two reindeer fit the harness, two more reindeer were twice that size with broken antlers, and another reindeer had a red nose that was smaller than any of the others with no antlers at all, he went in front. The last little reindeer had a silver harness on and was gaudily covered with green glitter!

I looked at the concoction as she placed the setup under the tree. They were hideous. Susan stood up with a smile from ear to ear, “Look, Santa’s coming!” she was so excited. Then she was off to her room.

I walked into the kitchen, “Mom, where did that contraption come from?”

She looked under the tree and said, "That’s your Santa and reindeer, honey. You should recognize it; you put it under the tree every year.”

I studied the setup, puzzled, because I didn’t remember this Santa and reindeer. The one I remembered had an all Silver Sleigh, with six tiny reindeer and a Santa that sat in the sleigh. This Santa couldn’t do anything but stand beside the sleigh. I voiced this to mom.

She turned toward me and said, “Son, you’ve grown up… you’ve lost the magic of the child’s eye! Don’t lose the magic. Remember. Always remember!”

I looked into her eyes and realized a child’s eyes were something easily lost. I hadn't even been conscious mine had existed, and now they were gone.

It has taken me years to re-attain those eyes, and sometimes they still must be coaxed by others. It’s not that I don’t yearn for them; it’s the troubles of the times. Gas prices, food prices, you name it, and it comes with its own problem. But, I'm reminded that our parents had their problems in those years also, similar in nature and, just as stressful.

Daddy’s gone on now too, but this Christmas was easier. I put lights in our Bradford pear outside of our house, and hung outdoor ornaments down from it so our neighbors children can see some of the "Magic." Tonight when I get home from work the lights will remind me of my childhood, Santa’s sleigh under the tree, and our old blue and silver tin star that shone brightly for seventeen years in the Hanvey household. It is a nice memory. And warm.