The Excuse

Ted parked his car in the driveway and headed inside, anxious to see what was for dinner. As he passed the front window, a scene inside caught his eye. His wife could be seen walking through the front room with what looked like a small gift in her hand.

Ted had been through this same event every year for the past twenty years. He had forgotten their anniversary again! He was truly screwed. Thinking fast, he threw himself into the bushes, tearing his shirt and creating an overall look of dishevelment. He noticed that the neighbor’s sprinkler was on so he ran over for a quick and thorough soaking.

Now it was time to practice the craft he had come to master after twenty years of marriage. He was going to tell a little itty-bitty white lie.

“Honey, I’m home,” Ted said wearily as he staggered into the house.

“Dear, what on earth happened to you?”

“You won’t believe me but I swear this is true I bought you a really really nice and expensive present for our anniversary you know how you like diamonds well it was like a really nice one of those but I came out of the store and a robber mugged me and then I chased him and then we fought in the park even though he was really big and mean I kicked his butt because I know our anniversary is important but he got away when we rolled down a hill into the park lake and I hit my head on a rock but I went back to the store so I could buy another gift and it was closed so here I am empty handed darn it!”

“Ted, you do know it’s December right?”

“Yeah, So?”

“Our anniversary is in May.”

Word count 299