A Single Tear

A Single Tear
By: Heather Ann Adduci


Standing at the edge of a fifty-foot cliff I started to think to myself. Was this really how I wanted to end my life, is this what I worked so hard for. It was really hard to look at me there and think I use to be so different. I was drenched in water; it was raining a lot. I took that as a symbol of all of my tears, all of my worrying, and most of all, my pain. It has been storming for about three days straight, usually we don’t get much rain out here, but that, of course, was not the point. I’m depressed and I can’t help how I feel and how my life has been. Sometimes I wish that I was someone else, but of course my wishes never come true, because I seem to think that I have been put on this planet to hold everyone’s pain. My friends are gone. My boyfriend, he cheated on me. My parents, they don’t understand. Who else is there really? Me. Who really cares what I think? My best friend well, she committed suicide a month ago and well, after that are whole group that seemed so happy broke up. In her note, she confessed that she was with my boyfriend. Pain. Pain. And just a little more pain.

I had this great dream to become a marine biologist. Which is funny, only because I’ve never even seen the ocean, oh and that I’ve never learned how to swim. My boyfriend, well now he’s my ex-boyfriend, there’s nothing more to say about that. And my family had problems of their own. Working out on a divorce that they might have. And now there’s just me. Me. I couldn’t deal with everything alone. I’m not that strong mentally. Could I handle this by myself? Could I grow from all this and end up normal? I guess all you could say is that, if I jump right now, then I will never find out, but did I really want to wait so long for my pain to go away? Looking down at the rocks below, did I really want to die like this? Did I? Maybe I did, but maybe I was making a mistake…maybe I shouldn’t do this. I was scared, but wasn’t that better then being in pain? Maybe I’m on this world for a reason…As I realized that maybe there was a reason for my existence, a single tear slid down my check. And it wasn’t from grief, despair, stress, nor hatred, no. It was because I was happy. Not all the way happy, but I could be. In time.


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