A Letter From My Home

I stumbled downstairs on December 26 to find the following letter on the kitchen table:

Dear Sherri:

Thank you for the great efforts you have made over the past month to keep me clean and presentable. I am flattered that you wanted to "show me off" for the holiday season. It's been great to have family and friends over to celebrate the holidays. However, I do have a few requests of my own:

1. The kitchen is suffering from burnout. Turkey, ham, bread dressing, and macaroni and cheese casserole are delightful dishes that tickle the tummy and stress out the oven. It suffered a fever after cooking Christmas dinner. Would you go out to dinner for a couple of nights so it can recover?

2. The tree in the living room is interesting, but it's not natural. When are you planning to put it back in the attic where it usually lives?

3. The dining room and guest room appreciate being able to serve their purposes. However, they have respectfully asked for a vacation. Please wash the tablecloth and clean the guest room so they can rest peacefully.

4. The den has been complaining about being crowded to capacity. Will there be any more visitors? If so, use the living room.

5. Please put away the Christmas music. I can't stand to hear any more carols.

Thank you for your consideration of these requests. I understand that you are tired from hosting so many functions over the past few weeks, but we have been working together. I need a break as well. Next year you should allow other people to host some of the holiday festivities.

Respectfully,

Your Home

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