Note to self, i miss you terribly.

Ever been told something so heartbreaking that for a few seconds in time you gawp in total disbelief? And when you question and the answer is 'its true', you feel almost as if your whole world just collapsed into a pile of broken dreams, and even with 'im here for you's flying here there and everywhere, you've never felt so alone. You find yourself using the word hate more often, not cause your a nasty person, but because it seems to sum up alot of situations. You find your self dragging your feet and sighing heavier and deeper than usual. You try and forget, but somehow everything comes back round to it. You find, after a while its all you think about. your friends find you boring, your parents dont know who you are anymore, along with everyone else and as for your school work, you might aswell start selling yourself now. It seems even the deepest of cuts dont numb the pain, not even a scratch on pains suface, not even close, not even at all. But in the delerious hope of reversing time, you still take the time to harm and after all the hurt and pain inside, it makes sense to draw blood. Worst thing is, you cant take back your own mistakes, let alone others. You take up a ' the whole world is against me/ hates me' attitude and, sadly, you find yourself doing things you'd never have dreamt of before, and poison seems to ooze of your tongue and past your lips with a sharp eaze, and mainly, to those who dont deserve it. But if your suffering why shouldnt they, right? and you become so bitter that when you look in the mirror, tears rolling down your cheeks, you dont recognise the person you once were. almost, quite the opposite.