The Twelve Days of Christmas for Writers

The Twelve Days of Christmas...(for Writers)

On the first day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
A slow internet connection!

On the second day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection!

On the third day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
FIVE PAPER JAMS!
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Six plagiarized paragraphs,
FIVE PAPER JAMS!
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Seven hours of writer's block,
Six plagiarized paragraphs,
FIVE PAPER JAMS!
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Eight fat rejection slips,
Seven hours of writer's block,
Six plagiarized paragraphs,
FIVE PAPER JAMS!
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Nine glaring typos,
Eight fat rejection slips,
Seven hours of writer's block,
Six plagiarized paragraphs,
FIVE PAPER JAMS!
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Ten shots of Red Bull,
Nine glaring typos,
Eight fat rejection slips,
Seven hours of writer's block,
Six plagiarized paragraphs,
FIVE PAPER JAMS!!
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Eleven therapy sessions,
Ten shots of Red Bull,
Nine glaring typos,
Eight fat rejection slips,
Seven hours of writer's block,
Six plagiarized paragraphs,
FIVE PAPER JAMS!!!
Four lame excuses,
Three corrupted files,
Two broken pencils,
and a slow internet connection.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my agent gave to me,
Twelve nervous breakdowns!
Eleven therapy sessions!
Ten shots of Red Bull!
Nine glaring typos!
Eight fat rejection slips!
Seven hours of writer's block!
Six plagiarized paragraphs!
FIVE PAPER JAMS!!!!
Four lame excuses!
Three corrupted files!
Two broken pencils!
And a slow internet connection!


HAPPY HOLIDAYS!