Yearn for Yesterday

Lying in bed at 6am … and I listen to absolute silence.
It’s Christmas morning.
It shouldn’t be like this…
I should have little footsteps running up the passage into my bedroom,
tiny hands pulling me out of bed with excited voices telling me to hurry up,
to wake up while I pretend to still be asleep.
The kettle should be boiling, and the oven switched on to bake the sausage rolls..
Kevin and Raine enjoy those – part of Kevin’s English heritage,
while Keagan and I would stick to the traditional mince pies.
We should be listening to Christmas carols as Kevin dons his red Father Christmas hat
and I have the camera at the ready, with Keagan and Raine barely able to contain their excitement.
Until finally - finally, the most important part of the day …
The handing out and tearing off of the wrapping paper of each brightly colored present.
Showing each other what they have received, and then waiting in anticipation for the next one,
both of them laughing and talking non stop.
It was wonderful, exciting and so special…

But now they are grown up, and Keagz is in another country that doesn’t even celebrate Christmas,
his second one away from home. Raine is sleeping. A teenager who prefers her sleep,
knowing that we will wait for her.

And so later this morning, I will turn the oven on for the sausage rolls, and I will eat two mince pies……one for me, and one for Keagan.

In the meantime, I listen to the silence and yearn for yesterday.